Tuesday, May 4, 2004.... AND THE LEAFS LOSE !!..... Well, do they really lose, after all, they did make it to the play offs?! Last night when I saw some of the Leaf players kick into action, my mind wandered questioning if the sparked passion the players displayed came from the thought of the big bucks they could make if they go further into the playoffs (that is what happens isn't it?) or, was it from the sheer thrill of the "we can win" competition?

I, sitting with a gang of friends last night was so caught up in the excitement, I almost elbowed my good friend in the head - not sure she would have been as excited about the game after that. It was a tense third period and you can only imagine the hooting and hollering that went on in this room (let alone in pubs and living rooms all over Toronto). What a rush. What a scene... A bunch of middle aged men and women hooting and hollering, jumping up and down and screetching in an otherwise conservative quiet environment of Bible study! What a let down when that little black puck slid along the ice in what appears to be slow motion right into the warm comfortable net belonging yes, to the Leafs! Game over, let down soaks in. The room becomes silent. And I still didn't figure out if the players displayed such passion from desperation of a fatter bank account or an overwhelming WIN WIN instinct!

Oh well.... off to anticipation of another season - 2005...

I'm Back! (Again)....... Well, I see that TIM misses me, but then he has a somewhat encouraging soul considering he designed this incredible site that I have let sit to get dusty and lonely. My days for three weeks have been all consuming with many distractions all of which don't necessarily bring joy like this site does.

As I finally get undisturbed time to write, I hear the shrill of Joseph's voice begging for use of my computer as he sits with his cute little face in the t.v. watching Malcolm ..... says he needs to do some research for a school project....more likely he has friends to visit on MSN. So much for the quiet time!

I have actually managed to get some reading time with much pondering (what else is new!). I have actually been steered to thinking about someone (who I don't even know personally - don't ask on that one!). Seem to have my thoughts and heart on them.
I started a book today titled "The Best 10 Decisions a Woman can Make".... Anyway, as I have been working through a few issues and also been thinking of a friend who is working through some issues.... I have heard the words ....."we need to DECIDE and CHOOSE to make changes"... Note the two words - DECIDE and CHOOSE. We must remember, "it is never too late to be what we might have been"

I am not quite sure why I am reflecting on these words, but someone somewhere (other than me) needs to hear those words. If it is YOU, let me know.! The words and thoughts have been placed on my heart for a reason!

Have a blessed and amazing day tomorrow.!

Wednesday, April 21, 2004.... ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER.
So it is said! I have been quite busy with the TULIP Ministries Spring 2004 Retreat. It has come and gone - with great success. I see that many of you have faithfully continued to log on..... just waiting in anticipation! Great inspirations to be sitting here for you tomorrow, stay TUNED!

Cheri

Saturday, April 10, 2004
HAPPY EASTER !HI EVERYONE! I apologize - I know you have been logging on this past week to disappointment of no new blogging from me. The tap is not dry, it's just been a hectic life, especially with the TULIP retreat coming up next weekend. I am trying to figure out my power point (to which I have never done before), finish some writing and just getting the house in order. I find myself getting one track thoughts these days, and even bored myself with some the things I started to write about, so I thought it would be good to spare you from the boring details and leave you to wonder what happened to me!!

Today was beautiful. The weather was so nice and the sun shined enough that I could see in my living room and bedroom blinds that the dust has embedded itself on each little slat. Oh I love spring cleaning. Now I know where the line "spring cleaning" comes from! It might be into the early summer before I can begin to think of finishing it. I have a kitchen and a bedroom to paint before anything else gets done and I just remembered, I need someone to install my carpet on my stairs....hmmmm.... does it ever end?

Anyway, as Easter Sunday approaches and we have been spending a lot of time with friends, at church and really pondering Jesus, I just want to remind each of us to think about the many blessings we as Canadians have. We have heat, hydro, water, gas, warmth, good food, freedom,friendships, family love and just an incredible beautiful life in this country. Reflect on our luxuries and pray for those who could not even possibly know or remember what these luxuries are !

Easter Blessings to All!!
Love - Cheri

Wednesday, April 7, 2004.... DUSTY JOURNEY WITH FLOWERS !

We never know what one day brings us. We travel the journey from day to day to week by week. The journey sometimes is dry and dusty and other days it's wet, hazy and damp. Lately my days truly have been bright and sunny despite the wet, damp weather. There has been a peace within my heart, despite some uneasy times.

I have been part of a four week study group and a man that does not attend our church had decided to join us. His wife had been unable to attend the study as they are care givers for a handicapped young man. The other night was the end of this particular study and our new friend's wife joined us later in the evening with the young man they care for. I feel such an honour to have met this couple. To share in the love and care they pour out for this young man. What hard work they have volunteered for in order to give this young man quality of life. It is truly awesome to have met such a kind, loving and compassionate couple. I couldn't help wonder if each of us were even slightly more like this couple, what an incredible world we would live in. I just want to express the honour I felt in watching the love they displayed. Despite the dusty journey we travel, we must be reminded that flowers still grow along side of the road and there is someone sitting there with the watering can.

Night...and have an incredible day !

Tuesday, March 30, 2004.... MORE ON THE SUBJECT OF DRIVERS AND THE FIRST ON SPRING WORMS.....
Today I had two things happen that I really wanted to write about. I arrived home later than normal from home church so I am limited on how in depth I can get on these two subjects as I am in need of decent sleep tonight! So... first on about the subject of drivers. Once again, with promises to leave this subject alone for a month or so (if I can manage that), I share what I saw tonight on my way home from work. However as I am shocked over this incident, my passenger fassures me that this sighting I am freaked out over, is quite a frequent event on our roadways.

I am driving along the 403, in keeping pace with traffic when all of a sudden to the right of me a car flashes by me from the side of the road, most certainly not in a designated official lane! He swept by me quickly and cut me off! Okay, here I go again - I am ticked! What has become of drivers in this city, do they left their brains and their courtesy on the kitchen counter when they leave for work in the mornings? I guess the fact that I am driving a van and that it is not going to stop on a dime means absolutely nothing to this character behind the wheel of the car. I am so flabbergasted at this incident, however I manage to get in the next lane to the left and I proceed along. I challenged my passenger to take a look at this "character" that cut me off as we are approaching to his left - traffic slows down and we both look over at him. Guess what? He is reading the newspaper - and driving! His newspaper is fully opened across the steering wheel and he is focused DOWN on the paper reading it, as his vehicle is moving at a moderate speed. Blair deciding that he must be looking for a job or something. My lane opens up and we start proceeding faster and this character continues reading, keeping at his pace, now slowing traffic down. I am truly shaking my head the rest of the way home. Now I have seen everything. This guy needs to be reported, and I would have if I had been able to get his plate # ! Am I looking for the nutso drivers or are they looking for me these days? Now for the better part of my day.........

As I reached home tonight and got out of the van, I stepped out feeling the peace of spring lurking all around me. Yes, so nice to be home when all of a sudden I get a beautiful whiff of spring - the smell of worms working their way out of the ground. They lay on the cold, damp lawn just waiting for the sun to shine down on them. What a glorious smell of spring. Honestly, you know when spring is here when you can smell the dew worms. It has been a long time since I remember the smell of the spring worms - and how reassuring it is to welcome them back. Keep your eyes and senses open for the beautiful signs of spring !

Spring is here my friends and I am now on my way to that comfy bed of mine !

Night......

Sunday, March 28, 2004... TEENAGERS ! Well...what a weekend. I volunteered to have my friend's two daughters stay with me while they were at a Christian conference in the United States. I was looking forward to the TWO girls (so was Joseph). It was supposed to start Friday night, but was delayed until Saturday as both girls and Joseph decided to stay with Louise who also volunteered for the FOUR other children of this family.

Saturday the group of teenagers went to a youth event - which was at a wave pool in Toronto. I picked up Joseph, Jamie, Sara and Charis after the event but along with them came four other young adults. So, in my little home we were entertaining SEVEN teenagers, a mix of boys and girls. The girls slept in Joseph's room - right next to my room so I could supervise them. The boys slept in the living room - a floor below us! My bedroom door was kept wide open - with the girl's door shut to protect them from the prowling young men from playing their typical pranks. I actually had a blast. I was entertained by chit-chat echoing from the girls room until 3:00 a.m., apparently complete girl talk about boys. I fought to stay awake to ensure the boys retired to bed and stayed out of trouble.

I don't remember much past 3:00 a.m. however, I had the honor of knocking on these ladies door - and cheerfully waking them up at 7:15 am. in order to get them in the shower and to a youth meeting for 8:45 a.m. What a site - all four girls sleeping in ONE queen size bed! Oh too be young. The only thing that managed to get ME out of bed this morning after about 4 hours sleep was the thought of waking up these sleep deprived girls. However, they bounced wide awake - took turns in the shower and within one hour all four girls were giggling and ready for the day. (hmmm.!) The boys on the other hand were somewhat groggy, resisting the wake-up calls. Despite this sleep deprived gang, they were all ready for church and on the road by 9:10 this morning with promises of a visit to Timmy's for Ice Cappuchino - YES.. caffeine - just what they needed !

Do you know how cool it was to spend time with these really neat kids? To listen to their laughter watch the conniving boys conjure up pranks and to travel down memory lane of the pajama parties I once shared many many times as a young teenager? To sit back and participate from the side rings was really neat. They should have taken five years off me - just for the memories, but I actually feel 5 years older, as I was too tired to function this afternoon and needed to sleep for an hour! Oh to be young!

Sara, Charis, Tory, Kelly, Jamie W, Jamie C, Joseph - thanks for the great weekend! Good job we had a van this weekend. Please don't come back for a few months! Just kidding. It was a joy to have ALL of you!!

Cheri

Friday, March 26th.... SPRING IS ON THE WAY ! As I slipped out of the office today to complete some work banking, I was quite surprised at how nice it is out, despite the continued rain drops. How awesome to actually have wiffs of spring "smell".

Before we know it, the TULIPS will be blooming and escaping from the cold ground. We will see beautiful gardens sprouting all around us. I can't wait for the first sounds of lawn mowers and watching the neighbours pulling out their garden hoses, washing down their cars. Activity will start in my neighbourhood - friendly visits on front steps, shared barbecue dinners and clanking of the plastic wine glasses as they take a few moments at night to visit with neighbouring friends they have missed all winter.

YES for SPRING!

Wednesday, March 24.... BLOCK THE ROADWAY... Well Monday's roller coaster ride ended nicely for me - only to allow my friend Kim to take over, sorry Kim ! Today I am faced once again with frustration from society. People who apparently have no regard for other humans along side of them. I know this mentality is all over the city and my experiences with other humans are the apparent norm. However, I have to vent and I have the vehicle to which allows me to do that! YEA!

This morning I pull up to the local grocery store and sit parked in my vehicle as Joseph runs in quickly to pick something up. This driveway is narrow and there are areas for shopping carts etc. There are cars parked behind me in this driveway with no drivers (we shouldn't be leaving our vehicles unattended in this area, in fact I probably shouldn't even be sitting in my car here). This younger woman pulls up beside me in the driveway, parks her car and gets out - she is parked behind the area where the shopping carts are brought to by the clerk in the parking lot collecting them. She not only blocks this stream of carts, she totally blocks vehicles from pulling through the driveway. She is talking on her cell phone, looks over at me, locks her car door and proceeds to enter the store. I can't believe the audacity of this woman. She does not give it a second thought - or look even to notice that she has now totally blocked the driveway. I was totally flabbergasted at her lack of common sense and courtesy for others.

But then I guess that's par for the course in a day in the city. There, I feel much better just venting. Have a marvelous day tommorow - I know I will.

Monday, March 22nd.... ROUGH DAYS!
I am sure that I am not the only person that faces rough days. However, when we are in the midst of one, it certainly seems like it's our own very personal roller coaster ride. I had one today, sitting in the seat, hanging tight to the bar but continually being thrown from side to side with the occasional slam to the shoulder. Then, left with the headache as you get ready to crawl into bed, left as a reminder of a truly rough day. Two Advil, a glass of juice, good book and the remnants of the day to be left behind at the computer.

tomorrow promises to bring much a better roller coaster ride, hopefully one that does not find me slamming against the sides of the car that carries me. Hopefully there will be a few friends along with the ride with me to buffer the bruises.!

NIGHT my friends!

MOI

Saturday, March 20..... MARCH BREAK

Yeah, it is over! What a long week. I took a couple days off work to spend time with Joseph, we cruised the book stores, had dinner out together and managed to take in two games of bowling. He cooked dinner for me twice - once was a crock pot roast beef dinner with potatoes, carrots, onions and the best roast I have tasted in a long time ! That young man will make either an incredible bachelor or a great husband!

Joseph managed to get invited to a paint-ball event, a sleep over at his friend's house (with a gang of kids) and a sleep over at our house. An inexpensive vacation - a well deserved rest for this amazing kid.

I can't imagine what it would feel like to have a gang of kids hanging out for March break - day after day for a solid week in this weather. However, I can imagine sitting beside a pool in 80 degree weather (oh is that hard to imagine?!) with a good book, sun tan lotion and a gang of kids swimming in the blue waters of either the ocean or the hotel pool....with time to bask in the sun.

Oh to have a condo in Florida !

Happy March Break !
Welcome back next semester!

MOI

Thursday, March 18....HOCKEY ? !

Hi All. I just read this on the AOL news line. Am I missing something here??? WHat in the heck is wrong with Toronto fans wearing their BLUE'S!!! Give me a break! SOMEONE NEEDS TO PAINT THE SIDE OF THE COREL CENTRE BLUE! What a bunch of HICKS. Too bad it is one of my fav cities. I AM OFFENDED! Hmmmm........

OTTAWA (Reuters) - Sorry, the blue-and-white Toronto Maple Leafs jerseys are not welcome in Ottawa.

Reflecting one of Canada's greatest sports rivalries, an Ottawa city council committee voted to ban the jerseys from the Senators' final game of the season, against the Leafs on April 3.

The full council will vote on the ban later this month. The resolution is expected to pass.

Mayor Bob Chiarelli explains that it is intimidating to Ottawa players and fans to see 7,000 to 9,000 Toronto jerseys in the stands at an Ottawa home game.

"We're going to intimidate them back," Chiarelli told CBC radio.

He recognizes that the tongue-in-cheek resolution has no teeth -- offending Toronto fans will only be "requested" to make a donation to the Ottawa Food Bank on leaving the Corel Centre -- but council wanted to make a point.

Leafs fans come up by the busload from Toronto, some 250 miles (400 kms) away, and others are Ottawa area residents who were fans of Toronto long before the Senators were resurrected early in the 1990s.

Chiarelli and the council may also have been trying to deflect attention from the city's most bitter local political row in years, over hiking property taxes.



03/18/04 09:21 ET

Well...HELLO! I have been a little behind in posting this week (as happens with me from time to time). I guess life has been a little uneventful, giving me not much thought to share. Except, this morning. I have decided I need to work from my house in order to avoid the crazy drivers out there, as I appear to be a target for the nuts.

Back in November my car was hit by a "crazy" guy driving to work. Sitting at a off ramp waiting for traffic to move, minding my own business, this "crazy" as I like to call him, side swipes my car and rips the mirror off. Damage to the tune of approximately $600.00. He was speeding along the road where no road actually is. O.K., I managed to deal with that incident and the fact that the driver was one arrogant dude who really ruffled my feathers. However, today is another story.

I sit at the intersection of Dundas and Trafalgar this morning behind a few vehicles at a RED light. I am waiting to turn right when this van sitting in front of me all of a sudden flips into reverse. I see his back lights changing from red to red and white, I do not have enough time to do anything other than honk my horn as he smacks right into me. I am shocked, dismayed and somewhat freaked out. I can't believe my eyes, oh and top of it, I am now rather wet as my tea spilt all over me. I pull myself together, step out of the car as he also steps out and I ask the question "what were you thinking of?" The poor soul, he's an elderly gentleman of European heritage, who is apologizing all the way to my car in his broken English, explaining that he just wanted to switch lanes (to the left). I shake my head, he wants to change lanes and there are cars in that lane too! Why couldn't he smack into one of them? Why me? Anyway, he was a very nice man who felt so bad and was as upset as I was. Thank goodness there was no damage to my car and he didn't hurt either of us. It's a crazy world out there my friends and I can't figure out why anyone would want to get their license to look like a sitting duck sitting in the water. Can someone please start driving me to work?

I am in absolute dismay as I continue the journey to work, late once again !

Friday, March 12, 2004..... BLOGGING

I have today finally managed to get my next site up and running. It has been fun figuring out how to change the colours from blue and white to rose and pink, add links and generally mess things up and find a way to correct them. My arms and hands are sore from constantly typing. My eyes are sore from looking at this screen for hours. You would think I would have something far better to do than sit at a computer starting a new blog spot site! I can truly appreciate every second of Tim's time invested in my first site, what a task for an amateur like MOI !

Please click on the link (if it shows up) THE TRUTH AND THE WAY. It has shown up on my preview part, I am just waiting for the system to do "it's" thing to ensure it is actually running. This is my official Bible study site. I have enjoyed the journey of my study time and I ask that you let me share it with you weekly. My hopes/plans are to have the study posted late Sunday evenings.

Let me know what you think. THANKS!

Thursday, March 11, 2004...... HOCKEY IS THAT WHAT THAT GAME IS CALLED ?!
I have distinct memories of Hockey Night in Canada. Every single Saturday at 8:00 p.m. we knew where my dad was and exactly what was on t.v. And if I didn't have a date (which wasn't very often!) I'd be sitting right there with him, even though I really wasn't a hockey fan - I just liked Dave Keon. Usually by 10:00 p.m. the game was over and my dad was often frustrated as the Leafs lost again. However, I was a bit of a Leafs fan, even way back then. I actually enjoyed sitting with him "watching" the game. I didn't really "watch" the game like he did, but I did partake in the evening of sitting with him while he sat on the edge of his seat, encouraging the players, criticizing them for their bad plays and finally often in disappointment getting up to change the channel at 10:00 to something else when the game was over. We didn't have colour t.v. nor did we have remote controls, remember those days? We didn't get a colour t.v. until around 1975 - and it came with a remote.

Getting off topic for a moment, I remember with laughter the day my parents got their new COLOUR t.v. Dad set it up and myself, my two brothers and our families came over to watch it with them, as dad was so thrilled with the new t.v. My parent's dining room overlooked the livingroom and as we were watching the t.v. the stations started flipping back and forth. My youngest brother brought his remote control from his set at home (both brothers were pranksters) and sitting away from us in the dining room, he started flicking the stations in hopes of freaking my father out. Job well done, my dad was in total confusion, and in frustration he started blaming my mom for doing something with the converter. She getting excited and worried immediately jumped up professing innocence. In the interim the rest of us are finally figuring out what was going on. Having such new technology in the house was somewhat frustrating to him, he was sure the t.v. was damaged. It was quite the scene and finally when the rest of couldn't hold the laughter in, we started howling with fits of laughter. My father was not impressed, with the joke nor the fits of laughter we engaged in. YEA for remote controls and the memory.

My memories of Saturday nights is quite cool actually to ponder.
I remember the game as being totally different to today's game. Our kids really don't know what GOOD hockey is. They know what rough hockey is, the slamming, punching, ramming people's heads into boards type of game. But they truly do not know good hockey.

I am angry today as I read of the terrible incident causing such serious harm to a player. Even my son said they are picking hockey players that are just too big, they cause harm often without possibly meaning to, just because they are so big. It's true. It seems to me that the main focus on choosing a hockey player for your team is to find the biggest, meanest guy on the draft pick, (if that's even what they call it!). I wish I had an opportunity to stand in front of the entire NHL big shots and tell them that they have totally messed up hockey and the meaning of it. (this morning I actually posted my opinion on an AOL opinion board - not that many will agree to it !) I'm sure like the many other things I'd like to express my opinion on, my opinion would be meaningless to most. Heck, what ever happened to just throwing your sticks and helmets down and just punching each other in the face when you can't control your anger? Where did the "killer" instinct come from?

Anyway, as I am JUST A WOMAN I am sure that my opinion will be laughed at by several of you guys out there. But personally, I'd like to see a bunch of 5'0" 145 lb guys out there playing REAL HOCKEY!! That is when you'd see REAL talent come out. Then again, that's just MY opinion!

I am on a day's holiday and I am going to have a Great day - you have one too! Think I shall sit on my couch with the remote, look for a hockey game and ponder some wonderful memories.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004..... HIS ROBES

This morning I share with you a devotional I wrote a couple of months ago. I wanted to share with all of you who possibly have seen The Passion. This is my vision of Jesus these days.

His Robes of Fine Cloth

My mother used to recite the scripture mentined below in Psalms 119 to me often. This scripture inspired this devotional. I think of her so much as I get more into His Word. I continue to thank her for sharing Jesus with me.

He walked with me before I even knew it. He was there hovering over me, whispering to me ever so gently and sitting at the foot of my bed as I prayed.

I see you Jesus walking ahead of me, especially in those dark and troubled times. The gentle waving of your hand motioning me onward. Your smile of encouragement and love. Your robes of fine white cloth draping your body in elegance. Oh, to reach out and touch your robes, just to catch a minute of your grace.

You my Lord are so Holy.

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path”

Psalms 119:105

To each of you with Love and Blessings!! Morning!

Tuesday, March 9th...... The Dream.....
I open the journal to simple yet powerful words "The Dream Giver gave my Dream back to me. Now it is part of his Big Dream - and that means my Dream is a lot bigger than before."

The Dream Giver

Wow.. these words strike me with passion and excitement. If you don't know, this journal is actually published along with the book "The Dream Giver". It is sold in Christian book stores as well. I do not have the book (YET).... I will be on my way to Burlington next weekend (again), I can't wait to get that book in my hands and to start reading it.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY ! !

Monday, March 8th, 2004..... The Way...

The page I opened to this evening in my new Dream Planner journal shows me a picture of a rickety old row boat, it is wooden and the paint is chipped and faded from the sun and water. It is pointed in a hazy direction along the water. Pictured in black and white and represents such peace and tranquility to me. The oar lays along the inside, sending an invitation for me to slip in and sit on the seat for the journey.

We read on the next page "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."

Psalms 143:8

Sunday, March 7th..... Comfort Zone....

"On the other side of that single step - the exact one. Ordinary didn't think he could take - he found that he had broken through is Comfort zone. Now the Wall of Fear was behind him. He was free and his Dream was ahead."

The Dream Giver

I read this tonight and as I have taken the spoken first steps to tear down the wall and break though my Comfort zone, I was reminded of the fear that lives within each one of us. When we abandon the fear that binds us, we are released to incredible freedom and the dreams we would never have imagined.....

Night....

Saturday, March 6, 2004.....

The Dream Planner...Inspired by the Dream Giver
I picked up this little journal today at the Christian Book store. It's so neat. On the back page it reads "Capture Your Dream. Your Big Dream is surging within you heart, ready to carry you to heights you never dreamed possible."

"Take out your long white feather - or your favorite pen - and record your travels out of your Comfort Zone, past the Border Bullies, across the Wasteland, and beyond the Giants in the Land." Have you ever imagined that there would be border bullies lurking so close to you, waiting to stop you from taking that dream and run all the way to the goal post? Close your eyes and imagine the presence of the border bullie...what does he look like, are you ready to tackle him right to the ground?

The Dream Giver - "God created you for a greater purpose. It's the most important journey of your life. The pursuit of your God - given destiny."

I was quite drawn by this journal. It is so inspiring that I want to share it with you over the next little while as I believe many of us have such incredible dreams dreams that never make their way out of our heads. We need to let those dreams escape the snare we sweep them into. Break down the walls that stop you from following your dreams, the ones that snap the locks shut on the snare.

"See, the Lord your God has given you the land, Go up and take do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Deuteronomy 1:21

Friday, March 5, 2004.... How tired is TIRED?

I have been exhausted these past few days. So tired that when I finally crawled into my beautiful, comfy bed last night, I literally laid my head on the pillow and that is all I remember. For those of you who truly know me, know that I have to either read until I fall asleep or I lay there tossing and turning....with thoughts, ideas and events churning in the brain, keeping me awake.

YEA for being exhausted. I have not written the past few days because of just too much going on - and the exhaustion thing. Tonight I am not any better - and lucky me...I have to be up at 6:00 a.m. (yes my shocked friends...me... awake at 6:00 AM not PM !!) Joseph has a youth event to attend tomorrow - they are driving to Niagara Falls, U.S.A. to help a church with some things. I don't have to drive there - I just have to get him to the departure point - somewhere here in Oakville! My hat tips to these incredible youth leaders who are so dedicated they would be up so early to do this with them.!!

Well... look out pillows here I come....hopefully the writing gets better over the next few days.... I do have lots to share...but....I can't help myself, I hear whispers of promises of hugs and warmth from my new feather pillow...and blankets......

NIGHT!!

Wednesday, March 3rd.... Dancing
I realized last night that I often talk about dancing in my journal. I asked myself why do I always go back to dancing? Simply because I love to dance? I do not classify myself as a good or amazing dancer (neither do those who dance or have danced with me!). However, dancing does pull me to the floor. It pulls many, even those who have the fear of dancing usually get up and try.

I'd love to close my eyes and be whisked away under the glitter of the dance ball as my black, slinky yet elegant, beautiful ball gown flows around me. The lights are sparkling, the music so captivating and me floating on air. I close my eyes and the world is mine, the dance floor is empty just for me. My feet are like a ballerina's, soft to the step, strong and swift. My heart pounds as he reaches for me and leads in the dance.

The music changes and the temp becomes upbeat and wild.... I throw my caution to the wind, I toss my head back, kicking off my shoes and I am clapping my hands in the air, shouting out the words to the rock and roll song. I am free as a lion roaming the wilderness. The dance floor is packed and we are rocking the floor. The ceiling below is is buckling.

Dancing....what is it? It is emotional, it is freeing, humbling, it is so soothing and yet so exciting. It's wild, its fun, it's daring. Take a chance, dance your heart away and just shout to the music !! Don't just dance, make your life a dance... let the dance be the stages of your life......

Are you ready?

Tuesday, March 2, 2004
Let it Bloom..... Those words are etched in a beautiful clay pot that contains an array of curly yellow tulips that I was given on Sunday by my friend Karen. These words were not painted on the clay pot, they were etched in, just as though they needed to be embedded directly into the clay as to not wear away.

Karen delivered these pretty flowers to me after church on Sunday, she handed the pot to me with the look of a young child so excited to see the reaction of her receiver. There was a twinkle in her eye that I couldn't overlook. I was humbled by her. I held the pot close to me and carried it to the car along with my hands full of other belongings. I sat the pot down on the floor in the front seat of the car and drove onward home. As I sat at the red light, I looked down at the pot just to make sure all was well. I was startled when the pot sitting there so regal, was situated such that the words stood tall and proud, just waiting for me to read them and catch the drift.

I, me, Cheri WAS created with much talent, most of which I have hidden. I took this talent, wrapped it in cellophane on a pretty ceramic dish and finished it off with a bow of soft pink ribbon. There sat the talent, all pretty laying on the dish to be picked up and shared, but I kept it sealed and held tight by ribbon... not to be let loose from the ceramic dish that just happens to be shaped as a heart. My friend Karen, oh how you know me and I am in awe of how He uses you to get to me! Thank you.

So many of us hold ourselves back from being who we were truly meant to be. Sometimes out of fear, lack of confidence, preoccupation and simply because we don't recognize our talent. That talent may be vast and incredible and it might be gentle and just plain nice. The degree of the talent is not important. What is important is that we stop and recognize our talent and just share it. Let it out of the cellophane, untie the ribbon and just let it jump out of that dish to the dance of the music.

I want to encourage you my lovely daughters and friends to look at yourselves, take the talent that you have and just unleash it, even just a bit. My daughter SANDY you have talent - you know where it is - I have created for you the site - SHARE YOUR LOVE FOR THOSE OFTEN FORGOTTEN PEOPLE! My friend DANI - you are an angel, truly you are. An angel with writing talent, don't hide it - get to it girlie!! Sheira, you are just beginning, slow down a bit and catch up in this fun! I will be waiting to see each of you put your foot forward and just try.

I wait to be enthralled with your dance!

Sunday, February 29th.........Well, I did it. I booked the trip. I am off to Mexico for two weeks. I board the plane tomorrow. I am in the process of packing my bags, which will contain - three pairs of shorts, two bathing suits, two pairs of jeans, one pair of dress white pants, a few tops, cosmetics, camera, walkman, several books and my journal. Oh, my purse with some cash. I am traveling alone for the first time.

Oh look at me, I am sitting on the beach in Cancun watching the waves crash all around me while I slip my toes in the hot white sand. I am looking out at the ocean and the tourists all around me, while I lay on my lawn chair with my book, sunscreen and upbeat music in my ears. It's so hot beads of sweat are dripping down my back. My blood is finally warmed up and soon I will be rested and beautifully bronzed.

OH no, I just woke up and realized I wasn' t on my way to Cancun. I am just laying in the tanning bed at the local mall. Sand does not come with the tanning beds, what a dream, the sweat not even possible. Music was blaring in my ears (where do these people get this music anyway?) Oh well.......

Enjoy this incredibly beautiful day....

Saturday, February 28, 2004

TULIPS....The other day someone gave me a bouquet of tulips. Beautiful yellow and orange ones. It had been a long day and I was somewhat under the weather by the time I got home. I put the tulips in a vase and proceeded to get into bed to rest my weary body. In the morning when I went into the kitchen, I was disappointed as the tulips were drooping over the side of the vase in despair, I had forgotten to put water in the vase....I didn't feed my tulips the basic necessity for them to live. It reminded me of someone who was totally defeated.....this beautiful bunch of flowers with no vibrancy or life.

I picked them up and on my way to the waste basket I took a second look at them and decided to put them back in the vase, this time with water, just to see if they could be saved. I couldn't believe it when later that night I looked over and saw these beautiful tulips standing tall, refreshed and as sturdy as they were when I had first received them. I was reminded of the ways we are refreshed and brought back to life after times of trial and tribulations...... The Bible talks about receiving the gift of the "living water". When we receive the gift of living water from Christ, we are refreshed and brought back to life. In Psalms 36:9 Jesus is called the fountain of life and the source of living water (Jeremiah 17:13). The living water satisfies the soul's desire.

Most of my journaling is easy and possibly fun reading. I have been working on a link for those who want to share in some of my Bible study, however it's not quite finished yet. As Christians and non-Christians read my journal entries I feel a need to share not just my daily events, but also my thoughts and belief in Jesus. With the movie The Passion, there is much buzzing talk and controversy about the movie itself, Mel Gibson and Jesus in general. As each of you know me so well, you know I am not classified as a "Bible Thumper" but rather as a believer, gentle and humble. I thank you for allowing me to share gently with you, Jesus.

Now I am off to go dancing.......!

Cheri

HI - Where have YOU been? ! It has been a busy week and I apologize for not blogging since Sunday. I had a long meeting Monday night in Milton, Tuesday we actually did some grocery shopping, made a really nice stew and crashed early. Wednesday was the day we went with our church to see The Passion.

I went with some friends from my church and outside of my church. Tonight I spent time with some of these friends celebrating Sandy's birthday (no age mentioned out of respect of the elderly - haha !). During the course of the evening we had discussions about the movie. There were many questions asked and we could only offer each other limited answers. So tonight before catching up on my blogging, I have been researching through my Bible and my little resource book "Book of Bible Knowledge" (the best $3.49 I have spent).

I have discovered that I learn through others, by their questions specifically. It forces me to look for the answers and back it up so I am correct! I have a feeling I am on another journey. Oh where will I ever get time to travel these journeys?

See the movie and share with me - ask questions so we can learn together. Be prepared, it is truly brutal and extremely graphic. Some critics loved it, others not.

Back to my books!

CRANK THAT MUSIC MR. SHOP KEEPER

On Saturday Joseph dragged me to Oakville Place, with pleads of needing new jeans. When we got to the mall I naturally assumed he'd want to go on his own, after all what 13 year old boy wants his mom tagging along. However, he adamantly decided he wanted me to go with him into the store. American Eagle here we come. Oh my goodness what an experience! Have you ever heard the saying "if it's too loud, your too old"... Well, we have decided I am most definitely too old. I stood by the clearance rack,
(they had 75% clearance sale on some items) while Joseph rummaged through the jeans. I couldn't stand it, the music was so loud I absolutely could not hear Joseph talking to me. I became very irritateand I couldn't wait for him to try these jeans on so I could get out. I did try my best to be cool and not show my extreme agitation. I looked up from the rack and saw another lady across from me, she smiled, as she witnessed my conversation with Joseph wherein I exclaimed in despair that I could not hear a word he was saying. She nodded with understanding and said, "you know they just turned this music up".

Joseph and I headed to the clerk to check the price on the jeans (my very cool son managed to find jeans marked down to $15.-) wherein I couldn't help myself, I lightly complained that it wasn't quite right to have music so loud that you couldn't hear someone talk. Joseph smiled in complete embarrassment and told the clerk "it's okay" (in other words my mom is a freak, she's old please ignore her!) Poor kid. Anyway the part that gets me about this entire experience is the fact that she smiled, nodded at me and did absolutely nothing to even slightly de-crank (if that's a word) the music so at least we could talk. That really bugs me, after all, I am the paying customer, not the 13 year old! Finally, I could not take it one second longer, I paid for the jeans, took the bag, handed Joseph (who still wanted to shop) $20.00 and told him if he could find a shirt to go ahead and buy it, but I was out of there.!

I slipped into the next store, Fairweathers and what a joy. The music was relaxing and perfectly placed at a reasonable volume. What's with these stores and their inappropriately loud irritating music. Do they forget who carries the money for these kids who shop there? Where is the marketing strategy in this picture?

What year was I born?....... Oh yes, 1950 something..... Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Saturday, February 21.... HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH, HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH?
I have had some writer's cramp. Thoughts are lazy and not particularly exciting these days. However, for the past while I have been thinking about how fortunate I am to have the things I have. In comparison to some I have much, to many I have too little. I have, he has, she has, I want, they have....

As we go the journey we spend time slipping, jumping, hopping, crawling, screetching to a halt and sometimes just laying down. I have spent time doing all the above. I have recently spent time thinking about my many blessings, and yes, there are many. I am talking material possessions today, not health, children etc. I have somehow managed to hang on to my house, put groceries on the table, and generally survive. I look around at my home realizing it as being probably humble to most, but very elaborate to me. I have more than I could ask for. Although by human nature, I could keep asking, and do! I have spent more time alone in the company of myself in the past year than ever in my life. I have found out some not so nice things about myself and some really cool things.

However, the two most important things I have learned is that I am cool, relatively balanced and generally o.k. and that I could actually be quite happy living in my bedroom. It has everything I need (other than a kitchen, and is that something I need??). I have the big soaker bath tub, shower, relatively large room wherein I have temporarily moved in my desk, sitting chair, my new bed, dresser, t.v. and wall unit. Believe it or not, it's really not cluttered (I do wonder if I would recognize clutter anyway). My closest is actually big enough to house everything I should really NEED (if I managed to throw out the clothes that are outdated by about 15 years!).

I have enough, more would be too much. More would be fun. Am I satisfied? Yes. Would I love a trip twice a year, YES! Will I survive without the luxury of trips? Yes. Will I yearn for trips in the winter to the hot summer spots, YES! I was thinking, I should rent the house out to someone and just live in my bedroom. What would that provide me with? Much more cash to spend, much less housework, no cooking - I could pick up Wendy's every night and most certainly no snow shoveling as I would rent it to a man who could handle a shovel. The point is, I actually COULD live with much less. Could you? And if so how much less?

Maybe I am just becoming a hermit????? Not likely! But I do love the hideaway in my bedroom!

Have an amazing day.

Thursday, February 19, 2004..... In the pursuit of peace of mind ....
I have a wonderful friend, we won't mention her name, she'd probably kill me if I did. I met her when she was 18 and I was probably 32. She was looking for a placement out of high school as a co-op student. She was impressive and I convinced the in-house lawyer to give her the placement, the rest is history. When I was younger and she was really young, I had 4 children and she would come to visit, claiming she had to leave due to a headache, teasing me about the noise in my house. Well... my kids are all grown up and there are not many headaches to complain about.

My friend didn't pay much attention to my words of wisdom. She got married and proceeded to have children. FIVE of them, one girl and FOUR boys! I don't visit as often as I should because I am so busy now that I don't have kids running around, and besides her kids give ME a headache now. Actually they don't really, but I like to tease her about it. Anyway, she was talking about the kids and what they were doing, their busy schedules etc. and I really was shaking my head thankful that I have pasted that age of enertaining all those children running around. I recently went to a wedding with her, her husband and a few of their FIVE children. I really was honored as the kids like me, and let me know it. They wanted to sit beside me, entertain me and share with me. Her one son made my day, he decided to be my date for the wedding, he sat with me in the church, sat beside me at dinner and he even danced with me. I hear he took my advice and shaved his head for a new style!! I want to take my hat off to you my friend who is kind, gentle, humble, a great mom (and a neat and wonderful friend) for being so brave to bring these five beautiful children into the world. Even though you can't sit in the bathroom for long and you can't read a book, or probably even wonder what it's like to NOT have a headache, your rewards are these neat, interesting and individual children. They are everything we need and could possibly want to have in this world. One day you will sit in the bathroom so long that your legs might go numb, the books will be boring, or you might not even be able to read them without your glasses, and you WILL stop having headaches - until the grandchildren come along.!

I just wanted to say you are an amazing person, a super mom and your children reflect your graciousness... they are so neat and I had so much fun with them on Saturday. So much that I would even invite them to stay overnight so you can sit in the bathroom even for just a while one night!!!
LOVE YA

Tuesday, February 17, 2004.... Special Days !

Today Gina and I had a discussion on the happy / sad of Valentine's Day. Happy are we women when some thoughtful person (usually our significant other) does something even so slight as giving us a love card. Sad are we when he does not! We get pretty upset when you forget Valentine's Day. Get with it boys.... Valentine's day is a MUST to throw the overcoat on, find the interact bank card and head out to get something, anything for your favorite girl. Do most of you remember this special day?

My future son-in-law was telling my 13 year old son that you don't have to "buy" something, you can do something really romantic and thoughtful such as making a puzzle and giving her pieces of it daily to put together...a puzzle that says something romantic. As the conversation was going on, I was rolling my eyes (cheap scape!) I of course had to interject my opinion on the matter and I told them I didn't think it was all that cool what he was suggesting. My son listened with intent and when my son-in-law got out of the car, Joseph leaned over and said "does he really think I'd do something so corny?". Yea! I have educated my son, if you are going to do it, do it right! Flowers, chocolates, dinner, cards, all the above. I was actually just kidding him, I do believe it's the thought that counts. It's the lack of thought that really ticks us women off. We can't help ourselves, we were designed to be emotional, sentimental and softies for Valentine's Day. My sweet daughter has it right, she so surprisingly delivered to me Laura Secord chocolates on a beautifully wrapped ceramic Valentine's dish - with a very nice card. There's a daughter who knows how to make her mom feel special!

Then, there are first anniversaries (my youngest daughter did count months for a long time...let alone years)...what about anniversaries of our first date, our first kiss, our first, our first, our first.... No wonder guys get so confused. So here it is guys...special dates to remember:

1. First six months of dating;
2. Always Valentine's day;
3. Most certainly her birthday;
4. One year of dating;
5. Engagement;
6. All wedding anniversaries;

Take heed of Joseph's example...last year he had me bring him to Dominion on the way to school (he needed something for his lunch). I waited outside for him. He slipped into the back seat and I drove off. I could hear him wrestling in the back seat and I finally figure out he was doing something for me. He said his goodbye's, jumped out of the car and off to school. When I arrived at work, I reached into the back seat to get my purse and there sat a wrapped bag of flowers... the card read... "Did you think I would forget? Happy Valentine's Day...Love Joseph" Did I cry? Yes. This year, he was very pre-occupied buying a teddy bear for a young lady he knows... and there were no flowers in the back seat this year...but I had the incredible happiness to watch this caring, sensitive young boy think of a lucky young lady on Valentine's Day.

p.s. please don't share this story as Joseph will probably be less than thrilled with me and I may never get flowers.......

Sun. Feb. 15... Change on the way....O.K. Chris, this is for you, I have pondered the suggestion that you have given me a couple of times...and shall writing 3 times a week, committing to posting my writings on Sunday, Wednesday and Saturday's. (Note today's writing should have been posted lastnight!) This shall hopefully prevent disappointment when I get too busy to write and post...leaving my fans as you say (haha) in disappointment when I have neglected to share for days (or in this case, a week). Hats off to you Chris! By the way, did you survive all that food and dancing at the wedding? I am not sure I have.

I didn't write this week, because quite frankly I don't know where the week went. These days I can't even manage to wash my floors or grocery shop. Joseph wrote his speech for the public speaking contest at school on what else.... Being in a Hurry... Rush Rush RUSH! His opening lines were something like....."rushing through McDonald's drive in five minutes before your piano lessons begin, the bigger and faster highways - expressways...(he says oxymoron), high speed internet (no we have not indulged in this) and running through stop signs to get to a great sale at the mall (no I have not done that). I will admit that we do rush through the McDonald's drive through on Monday nights before his drum lessons....but I do it about 1/2 hour before... not five minutes!!

Joseph was writing on what I have been feeling for months now... rush rush rush... for what, and what is the rush anyway?! Are we over working, over socializing, over committing ourselves and our children? The more I try to relax it seems the further I get behind...then I am really rushing, or apologizing because I didn't get something done. Why are there not enough hours in the days lately? Is it because as we get older time moves faster? Or is it that as we get older, we are slower and it takes more time to get things done? I don't know but someone please slow the clock down, quickly ?!

Sunday Feb. 8th...TO FISH WITH ME OR NOT. What a glorious day it is! The sun is shining, the skies are bright and blue. Yes, it is cold out, but that's O.K.

I was wondering earlier, what type of topics can I write about to increase the male reader's attention? I know my heart to heart talks about beauty, life and women things bore the heck out of them. So, Sports - not likely, I know so little about sports nor do I care about sports other than possibly golfing, cars - I love fast cars, but know very little about them, and then I decided that possibly fishing might catch their attention.

Well, I know very little about fishing other than it's so relaxing to sit with a fishing rod quietly in a boat in the middle of the lake in anticipation of the big catch. I did catch a hugh fish once and it was a big rush! The fish being big enough that the buddy I was fishing with being a poor sport, didn't talk to me for hours.

Just imagine yourself in the middle of the lake on a beautiful warm sunny day, fishing rod in hand, hook and worm way beyond the boat just dangling, waiting.....and all of a sudden the rod bends and you've snagged the big one....excitement escalates as you start reeling the big guy in. Depending on the fish that is on your line, there is a way to reel them in...some fish fight like crazy others don't bother until they get close to the boat. You get him up to the side of the boat and your buddy reaches down with the net and scoops him up. You drop him into the centre of the boat. He's absolutely beautiful, obviously a rainbow trout...and he's big. He's flopping all around the bottom of the boat, just gleaming, you are so proud after all, you just caught the biggest fish so far.

Then I think of the other scenario.... you are reeling this fish in, fighting with him using all your skill to keep him on the hook......you know he's a big one and you are going to be the envy of the lake. Pictures are going to be taken and you are going to filet this guy, cook him up with special spices and butter, you can taste the flavour, he's fresh and tender....you may have salad with him and rice...and a beer or glass of wine...oh...the rewards of fishing.

Your buddy gets the net (and she's probably a female buddy), she slips the net in the water and she somehow catches the hook in Mr. Rainbow Trout's mouth... he flips up and swims right out of the net in front of your disbelieving eyes.....his tail slapping across the water happy to be missing the heat of the frying pan....

I was pondering today about the times we get so close to something that we have waited for in such anticipation, and out of no where, it diminishes for no apparent reason. With a snap of a finger it's gone. Often we just go forward looking ahead to the next dream yet sometimes we are stopped in our tracks with disappointment. I was reflecting on how these times can really keep us from moving forward. It might be little, it could be big...but when these diminished dreams stop us from moving forward, we need to reflect and find a way for us to rationalize the dream and just step ahead with zeal to zoom down the next journey! After all, maybe that fish was meant for you to catch later, when he was bigger, fatter and juicier!

And yes...I was the female buddy who let my male buddy's fish off the hook, quite by mistake, however I did do it and many never let me forget it. The experience did not stop me from fishing - I just have difficulties finding buddies who want to fish with me! So, send me YOUR fish stores!

Chat later....

Friday, February 6th.... Not much writing tonight as I have been sick with a tummy bug of sorts. Looks like Joseph might be getting it too.

What a night....cold, icy and wet...what a great night for a glass of wine, big pillows and fluffy blankets to cuddle with beside the roaring fireplace, lights dimmed, and a good movie... or Nick Nolte in person....!

Well, I tried...but ended up with a few glasses of gingerale in hopes of settling the roaring tummy....Joseph and dog cuddling on the too small couch...Oh, I forgot I don't have a fireplace....hmmm.....

Night once again, sweet dreams....

Thursday, February 5th....

To continue with sharing my thoughts on the book "Do you think I am Beautiful"... What is the purpose of me reading this book? It is NOT to figure out if I am beautiful, we already know the answer to that one. I decided to read it because my friend read it and found it life changing. I have found it to be inspiring as Angela's words are powerful.

Angela Thomas takes us on an emotional roller coaster ride in this book. She shows us complete transparency and encourages the reader to do the same. I want to provide some inspirational thoughts from her messages.

Have you ever been to a function or event where you were just sitting on the sidelines, waiting, watching and not knowing what you were waiting for? I have... only too often. Have you convinced yourself that you are a behind the scenes person, probably with very little to actually offer? Angela says "there are no faceless women standing around the edge of the room with Him. He did not bring you to the dance just to shove you into a corner and tell you to have a great time watching. You were made for strobe lights!

Let's stand in the centre of the dance floor and feel the effects of the strobe lights while you take your first steps to dance. If you are a woman who is floating out there, possibly struggling with trust, beauty or love issues.... close your eyes and truly lay everything down. Clear the slate, go to Jesus with your cares. Once we do that, and stand firm in making Jesus our ROCK, through His grace and dedication on our part, we will find a new woman emerging. You will put new shoes on and certainly stumble in them. You may put contact lenses in that irritate your eyes, but eventually your ankles will be strengthened and your walk will be confident, your vision will be clearer....

Let Him be the one that matters first. You are beautiful. He watches you and He loves you like no other. Angela says "the love that God has for us is the love your soul was made for. It is an intimate, vulnerable, completing kind of love".

On to the next chapter with anticipation.... good night, it's been a long week....

Wednesday, February 4th...Well, I spent about a half hour preparing tonight's blog.....just for Mr. McRae as he apparently misses my blogs if I don't write. Well, guess what...the machine froze and I wasn't sure if lost all my work. I was hoping it was saved, as I was far too tired to re-create that great piece. I shut the computer of and restarted it.

While I was waiting for the computer to swing back into action, I went downstairs to have a snack (no dinner tonight!) I opened a can of this "turkey" stuff. I cut it up on the plate and started to eat it.....hmmmm not the best dinner I have had. As I had a few pieces of this "meat", my cat started to go crazy, crying, jumping up on the counter. My dog joined the excitement of the aroma by jumping at his cage as high as he could... I continued to eat this dinner and after a few more forks full, I decided this was pretty awful stuff....wonder what the hint was....? I should have known better when my animals were crying for it. I think I just had cat food for dinner.

What a night....wonder what's for dinner tomorrow????
Night....

Tuesday, February 3..... My friends....each of you know this inquisitive mind of mine and my constant quest for answers to my deep thoughts. I think women are incredible species, truly I do! We are complex, beautiful, smart, funny, devoted and very special. Inside each of us is a closed flower waiting to burst open exposing our beauty. For some of us it has taken a long time to bloom because of the image we hold of ourselves.

I am reading a great book called "Do you think I am Beautiful" by Angela Thomas. Am I Beautiful the woman asks? Personally, I have asked myself that question too many times. I was beautiful once. Yes! I was in a relationship with a man who truly thought I was the most beautiful woman he saw at every function we went to. He constantly fed me with his praises of my apparent beauty. I truly spent time feeling beautiful. In reality I was not beautiful, heck I wasn't ugly, but I certainly wasn't beautiful. However, I love those memories, and give thanks to that person who planted them for me!

Angela wrote some amazing inspirational words. One of the things she wrote "When no one notices, a lot of us wander through life blending in, always trying to figure out the balance of being just right, like milk toast and boiled eggs - bland and easy to swallow. Other women act out, doing anything to get someone to notice. But either way, after lost hope, the ache of disappointment, and the repetitive pain of rejection, the longing to be beautiful is eventually stuffed away into an untouchable place in our hearts."

She continues to talk about the natural make up of women seeking to be known as beautiful, she shares that women often pretend it doesn't matter. She says "we learn to pretend it doesn't matter, but Lord knows, it matters. It matters in your soul and it matters in the way you wake up every morning and step into life."

Let me encourage you and ME today to banish the negative clutter you have stored somewhere back in your mind about your beauty. How can I do that you ask? Stay tuned for some feedback on this book I have been enjoying as I am sure I shall be sharing some inspirational words.

Today, wake up your soul and don't allow the world to cut in on your dance, you ARE beautiful !!

MOI

Monday, February 2, 2004.....
In Memory of Georgia Stylianou.... Most of you know that this weekend has been extremely sad for my dear friends Mary & Charlie. They have suffered two deaths in their family, Charlie lost his father last week and on Saturday the day of the funeral for Charlie's dad, Mary's mother, Georgia suddenly became critically ill. She passed away Sunday, February 1st.

I have not written for two days because I was overwhelmed with shock and grief for my dear friends. I couldn't write and if I had been able to, I didn't know what to say. Over the weekend Mary & Charlie were reminiscing with us about their parents. Mary's mom, Georgia, was part of our family, and we have many wonderful memories. I was able to share a few stories of Georgia and how she effected and influenced my life, so today I want to write about what she taught Mary, Laurie & I.

Georgia was a typical Greek mom, always trying to shove food in my mouth, especially when I was pregnant. She was constantly trying to fatten me up with her spectacular cooking. She was everyone's mom, telling us how to take care of the babies as she fawned over each one of them when they were born, hugging and kissing them and us. When there was a birthday, baptism, showers or any reason for celebration (and back then in that big Greek family - there were many!), we were always on the list, she always made us part of the family. The memories of the food and Greek dancing will always keep us smiling. My most recent memory was this past summer when she sat at the kitchen table with us and took us down memory lane with her of when she was first married, and it was so beautiful to hear. She laughed with us at jokes about subjects we never thought she'd laugh with us about. I will always remember her telling us girls that your husband was the king of your home! However the most important thing she taught us was unconditional friendship.

When her husband died 30 years ago (yes the three of us have been friends for way over 30 years!), we attended the funeral at the church. It was the first funeral for many of us and a very emotional time. Georgia hugged us and looking right in our eyes, she asked us to always be there for Mary, reminding us of the importance of friendship and of of being there for each other. We promised her we would, however never realizing how truly close we would become over the next 35 years. I have always carried her words with me and because she raised such a loving, caring and amazing daughter, holding us together like glue, we were blessed with eternal friendship. Georgia reminded us of the special bond we shared as friends and encouraging us to nurture it. She in turn became our friend, as she set the example of love and acceptance. Mary, Laurie and I have been referred to as the "Three Muskateers". We have shared much joy, sorrow and tears over the years. We have received and given each other unfailing support of each other in happy and sad times, being closer than some sisters could be.

I want to thank you Georgia today for this wonderful bond of family that we are blessed with, as with your words 30 years ago you gave us life long love, friendship, support and true family. You my beautiful lady are in God's arms and reunited with your husband for eternity.

We love you!

Friday, January 30th... What is your dream financial situation? Tonight a friend asked me a question similar to that. I can't even remember my answer to that question as it truly was hard to answer on the spot. Yesterday I read my friend Tim's site wherein he commented on the wealth of Brad Pitt and wife Jennifer. Brad and Jennifer's dream would certainly not be mine, maybe because I couldn't possibly dream that big.

In all truthfulness think about this yourself. How much would really make you happy? I think I have it figured out. (No it's not all about a beach hut in the sun...almost though). I would be thrilled to be sufficiently financially stable enough to be able to work part time to pay my bills and work most of my hours in women's Ministry. To read and study and be blessed to work where my passion is. So simple yet so fairy tale. Imagine the incredible wealth of so many that would laugh at this big dream of mine.

Dream...where would we be without dreams....they give us memories we may not be able to ordinarily create, they inspire us and they often light the fire..... Never stop dreaming, as they often come true, just watch and see....

Thursday, January 29.... I am a warm bunny, I dislike cold...... Here I sit once again at the computer, however tonight I am quite chilly. I had friends live with me for a few weeks and I had moved my computer into my bedroom (it is still here - no time to move it) and unfortunately this is the coldest room in the house. I have a blanket on the floor under the desk to keep my feet warm...I have my baby bunny pajamas on....they are flannel and actually have feet in them, but I am still cold.

I was thinking that when we get cold, we need to huddle up in bed with a few comforters and just snuggle up with a good book. Jesus is like an electric blanket for us...is all we have to do is plug it in !! Once you plug in, your love for Him will grow. Don't fear the electricity that will spring from the sockets - let it warm you up! Let Him wrap himself around us and nuzzle into our hearts to keep us cuddled, warm and safe. Put the fire on and sit at His feet, ever so humbly and allow Him to warm your heart with His words on this cold winter night....

MOI

Tuesday, January 27... Do you think I am worthy? Am I lovable?I have decided that it can't possibly be just women who ask these questions. I am unequivocally convinced men also share these doubtful questions.

I am reading a book by Angela Thomas "Do you think I am Beautiful". I just finished page 10, and I am already excited for what these words will bring me and you as I share from time to time. Pretending - she talks about. There are things in our lives that we pretend doesn't matter. Our looks, our success (or apparent lack of ), our capabilities to name a few. Angela says "it matters in your soul and it matters in the way you wake up every morning and step into life". These past months I have faced issues that I needed to stop "pretending" about. That is the first step to changing and growing. The next steps are not always easy.

She continues to write "my soul was broken apart and the truth came pouring out." What do we do when the truth pours out? We walk the journey of finding who we really are...whether we are 25 or 45. Don't let another day go by pretending. Open your heart to experiencing this incredible life, dancing not walking all the way.See Ya tomorrow!!

Monday, January 26th..... Is there a Man Around the house????

I bet that caught a little attention. On my home tonight, I jokingly contemplated sending something to the "want" ads of our local newspaper. The proposed ad would read:

"Room for rent, females need not apply!" Trade handy-man work for rent. If you are male and possess strong heart, arms and hands for shoveling snow, cleaning snow off cars in driveway , please apply. Then I started thinking hey, what about repairing fences, digging gardens, fixing cars including oil changes, tune-ups, tire checks and whatever else we women are supposed to do with cars other than drive them.

As I was making dinner tonight and chatting with a friend on the telephone, I was thinking about the basic structure of male and female roles. I like the thought of the male making sure the car is in tip top shape and the snow is shoveled so we don't slip going out, and our cars are warmed up and cleared of snow before we go to work so we don't get cold and wet getting into the car, and that the lawns are watered and mowed and we don't strain ourselves doing heavy work. What I am not so sure about is the typical female role. You know, the cooking, laundry, ironing, dusting and grocery shopping. I do like the thought of trading those activities for soaking in a hot bath with an abundance of candles, soft music and a good book. Oh the benefits of maturing.

I still think I missed my calling as a beach bum....especially as I sit by my bedroom window watching the snow falling on my car and the driveway....and I have had no replies to the ad !

Night!!

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Friday, January 23...My Crazy Friends...and I do have them....thank goodness! I have been going down memory lane these days. One thing that I think about often is how many years might I have left? What more crazy things would I love to do? The big one - I'd love to sell my house, take the $$ pay bills and take six months to start running. I'd run to Italy or Portugal, a must for Greece, rent a cabin on a beach somewhere warm for a month with my computer and write. Talk to people, journal their thoughts and dreams. I'd live in New York City in the summer looking for Richard Gere. I'd go on an singles cruise and talk to every single person there, and find the most amazing male friend. I would NOT go to the jungle, snakes do not excite me! I would make a list and go from city to city, beach to beach and write about every single moment. I would study and read until I couldn't read the words anymore. I'd share my heart with many women, encouraging them to be who they were created to be...and pray they'd in turn encourage me to be who I was to be.

The things I could do and have done with my crazy friends ... have my belly button pierced at forty something, purely out of being convinced by a 30 year old that it was the thing to do, then forgive her for convincing me to allow myself to face such horrific pain - was I crazy?? I forgive my daughters for setting the stage, I guess I didn't appreciate their rebellious nature. I've danced in Mexico until the sun came up, and YES on the beaches with the rest of the girls. Laughed in Niagara Falls with aging apparently mature friends who convinced me to watch sight seers have their pictures taken for memories, and then just jump in with them as the camera gets ready to snap the shot, scaring them to death and then convincing them it was all in fun. Our faces are all over Japan thanks to my friends. What about loading someone's truck so full of balloons that when they opened the door they stood in shock. I have had fits of laughter so hard that my friend got mad...but still loved me for it. Handed one too many glasses of wine for my 80 year old aunt...and laughed when she tried to burn trees in the camp fire. I taught my 60 year male old cousin to cry and then laugh until we fell of our chairs. I have been a practical joker for most of my life, joke after joke, laugh upon laugh. I have been the life of too many parties and gathered more friends than I thought possible. Be crazy, be good and have harmless fun.

Guys...memory lane will not resume tomorrow...maybe I will discuss sports or something....naahhh!

Reminders for me and for you - just be you, love yourself and enjoy this incredible life. And...remember, to thank God for that beautiful person you are.
NOTE: the comment spot is back on the site and running now thanks to TIM !

Thursday, January 22nd...... Sharing your heart...I feel like I am one of very few people who are blessed with such a group of incredible loving friends. In the past four years I have had struggles to face that I thought would never end (they probably won't either!) however as I sit back and reflect the journey I realize that I would not have made it quite so nicely had it not been for God yes, but also my friends.

True friends. The ones that ;
*drop by with a card and a box of chocolates just because she knew you were down;
* takes her carpet steamer and not only brings it here, lends it to me, but actually cleans the carpet herself.
* painted my entire house with me on her holidays, gets mad at someone who hurts me, yet accepts that person simply because I love and forgive that person.
*cooks a pot of soup because it's a cold winter Saturday and I really wanted soup! You who opens her house to all of us!
* runs out for lunch every day for me, even in the bitterly cold weather;
* listens to me day in and day out, good mood or bad, she goes with the flow and never complains...other than ....listen lady!
* brings lunch & flowers to me when I was off work with my burned boot even though she had been on the run all day herself with children and husband to go home to take care of;
* who brought me to the hockey dance for his son, paid for the tickets and let us tease him all night , the same friend (a GUY other than Tim!) who reads my site and encourages me. Oh, and tells me "just go and DO IT"!
* The friend who in his busy time, still finds time to create a web site for me to encourage me to write, the same friend (yes another guy!) who has stepped out and made me HIS friend.
* The friend who shares scriptures with me and encourages me daily, sends smiles even in her e-mails;
* The friend who told me it started with me.... a long long time ago...you who looked at me with determination and told me...I was it!
* The friend who is the youngest of our bunch, yet gives such wise words of truth and encouragement;
* The friend who watches me from a distance and gently asks how I am;
* My friend who calls even when she's so busy, even if for seconds just to see if I am o.k!
* You my special friend, who smiles at me and doesn't let me away with pretending things don't hurt...that friend who has trusted me as her friend in her journey with each of her special friends she prayed for;
* fixes my car, my fridge, stove and dryer. The one who not only fixes it, but delivers them and installs them. The friend that fixed my shower from leaking. You who in the end accepts me for who I am and forgives me for it. The friend who's help has been never-ending too much to list;
* The friend that hugged me when I needed it. The friend that held my hand when I cried and then passed me the kleenex.
* The friend that lets me be me, always. The friend who reminds me of how stubborn I am, and then laughs about it.
* The friend that challenged me, drew me close when others couldn't and caught my eye when I least expected it. The friend who still keeps me thinking and don't know the special beat you placed in my heart because of the person you are;

The list of friends and blessings is too great for me to share in one evening, but to each one of you I thank God He placed each of you in my life. Maybe one day this friend can do as much for you as you have for me.

Night once again!

January 22, 2004
Tears or No Tears..for women only !.....Today I said goodbye to two wonderful friends who have lived with me for the past three weeks. They are embarking on a journey into Ministry in Saskatchewan. I took a little time off this morning to spend our final hour together. We chatted, took pictures with Livia, their little baby, and finally began our good byes. I promised myself not to cry. Sometimes promises are hard to keep...as I started the hugging session it became evident it was going to be very hard to hold those tears in. I did o.k. until I walked out my front door, making sure not to look back...and I burst into tears which carried me all the way up the street.

Most of my adult life I can honestly say tears were not a big part of my personality. I maintained a relatively strong image and never allowed myself to be soft and vulnerable enough to produce many tears. However the past six months something has happened to me and tears have been chasing me all over the place. They well up inside my chest, make their way up through my eyes and spill over my cheeks only too often for my liking. I am told that tears are healthy and cleansing.

Today Gina and I discussed the whole topic of tears. It appears they are good... Especially when the female species resorts to crying instead of shouting, demanding, being strong and giving their mates a run for their money. These women actually fare much better than the head strong tearless ones. All sorts of things happen when a woman cries...people will swarm her, hug her, lavish attention and concern on her. The attention is all consuming. We turn into melted butter when someone cries...often we cry with them. What powerful results tears can bring.

Back to the thesaurus, tears as would be expected is described as weeping, sobbing, howling, bawling, whimpering, blubbering.... and a new word...dolorous... I looked up dolorous...and was told to look up doleful. Description reads...sorrowful, depressed, gloomy, morose, melancholy, wretched, despondent, dejected....woooaaa...girls no wonder guys are so fearful of tears... Imagine dealing with a dejected, wretched woman?

So the analysis according to the Gina and Cheri world...let them flow girls...when the buckets fall and splash to the floor, your man will run to do whatever it takes to shut off the tap!

Tuesday, January 20

Men and Animals....all in the same boat......My future son-in-law
(I don't like the sound of that.... am I old enough for one of those?) basically recited to me that man and animals were of the same breed. I know we have all heard this before, but it irks me. Apparently men are like animals, they want to hunt, catch, dominate and win, be the leader of the pack. So being the apparent more knowledgeable person, he basically tried to convince me we are animals.

I then confirmed if men were animals then so were women. Our instincts would be to.....what? He was quick to say that women were not animals and that they were actually born instinctively to nurture. Well if men are so much like animals, and have the apparent same reasoning abilities, (reasoning abilities being the whole basis for the topic of this discussion) then why is my dog not driving me to work and why is it that my cat does not shovel the snow when it's piling up? That's my tid-bit of sharing for the night....I am tired and it may be a weird tid-bit...oh well....

** don't forget comments to:
cherijoy@hotmail.com

Beauty. This kept me thinking a lot since Friday evening. I was told twice Friday night that I was pretty and beautiful. Quite mind baffling actually, as I had been feeling particularly ugly and unworthy for a while. YES, ugly!

So what is beauty anyway I thought on Saturday. My thesaurus says: attractive, pretty, good looks, allure, prettiness, exquisiteness, splendor, magnificence, goddess, hottie, looker. It does finally say in the last line - strength, blessing, good thing, merit.

Then I thought, I do hope these two men who proclaimed I was pretty or beautiful saw a good thing in me, someone possibly with strength who is a blessing to someone. At an age of 40 something, I am sure "hottie" wasn't coming to either of their minds. (thank goodness - imagine trying to live up to that image?) And on to the word magnificence - what is all that about?

I was flipping through a magazine at my doctor's office on Friday and my attention was caught on the amount of advertisements that attempt to lure women into needing or wanting the newest cosmetic or hair product and even surgery to improve our apparently "ugly" state. I counted an approximate total of 50 pages out of 175 pages that screamed "buy me and become beautiful". The other encompassed approximately 20 pages of exercises to make you trim, fit and sexy. Then there were articles written on face lifts, look slimmer, rekindle our romances, look younger and sexier, age busters, the list goes on. And I shall point out this magazine was not a beauty magazine, it's almost a suzy- homemaker magazine! Be sexy and you can make the hottest soup you can !

No wonder some of us "ok" women can feel ugly. Society ticks me off ! We are continually told, page by page , commercial by commercial and by some men that we need to improve, look prettier, slimmer, sexier, bustier and the list just goes on and on.

However, my faith in humanity was rekindled when a male friend at church today indulged me in conversation about my weekend dilemma of beauty. He so humbly shared his thoughts on the beauty of women. I heard him basically say in a nut shell, it's her heart, her soul, her integrity and her ability to be a family woman. His wife is beautiful he says, and he shared being mystified when at times she had been unable to see herself as the beautiful woman she is. Why do so many women feel like that he asked?!

Thanks my friend for giving me faith that there are men out there who see the true beauty of a woman, even when we ourselves don't !

Saturday, January 17th.... In the pursuit of passion, truth etc. I share. Last night while out with friends, somehow during the loud noise of the music playing, we were somewhat able to have minor discussions. Throughout those discussions the word perception kept coming back to me regarding an issue I am dealing with. This morning I woke up and perception came back to me again. So here I go.....searching for something....

From the Canadian Oxford Thesaurus (an excellent gift from Gina for my birthday)...perception - it describes - our perception of our own limitations, recognition, awareness, consciousness, grasp understanding, to name a few....

Something (possibly a stand on issue) that I communicate to another person may be plainly and most assuredly black and white to me. However, the issue, or situations can be perceived by one person as being entirely different, possibly pink and yellow, even out of the sphere of colour understanding possibly textured...rugged and coarse.

My query this morning is ( me being a very deep thinking person), how does one convince the other party you are sharing the issues with that what you are saying or doing, isn't meaning what they think it means?

Convince....thesaurus says..."he convinced me that I was wrong"...by the way, I note - why wasn't that worded "she convinced him that he was wrong"... However, to continue - persuade, satisfy, prove, assure, set someone's mind at rest....

I still have this perception issue going on....I guess being my blunt self I should just figure out that when someone is too dumb to get it...then maybe their brains are just not wired as good as mine......

Good job my comments section isn't working on the site yet....another whole issue keeping me inquisitive....

One icy cold winter night.....I decided to see if I could figure out on my own what was wrong with my site. First the top part of my page was coming up on my computer very blurry...so I tried cleaning out my temporary internet files - deleting those as well as "cookies". I had learned a while back that these "cookies" are not something we eat. This procedure fixes that problem.

Next, I realize I have lost my comment section, ALSO each time I log on to my site...I get an error message (it's only on the computer at work and at home...not my friend's computer at work - figure that one out....) that asks me if I want to debug....yes or no...the screen asks me. I tried no.... it still sits looking at me...so I click and click...and it finally disappears and my site pops up - yeah!

So, next time I decide to try the "yes" answer to debug...I figure maybe this will get rid of this annoying screen. Same procedure, click and click and click.... So I am now stuck with a bug site... Could it be my internet server? Who knows.... Anyway, I know that so many of you miss commenting on my site...so temporarily until I can figure this out... kindly e-mail your comments to me at
cherijoy@aol.com....
I am now off to attempt once again to debug the blogspot that I have blogged up.......

Have you ever? Thought so much that you can't figure out what you were even thinking about in the first place? Well...for days I have skipped from thought to thought and to waking up and wondering when I fell asleep.

I keep thinking these days of how much I really do NOT like snow, ice and cold weather. I know in my heart that I was actually born to be a beach beauty, sitting somewhere on my lawn chair in front of my cabin on the beach with the sun beaming down on me while I write amazing stories to tantalize all who read.

However, reality is that I somehow missed the flight to that warm spot and the finances for the cabin...so I am forced to endure the winters. To make the best of the cold weather dumped on us this week, I will comment that as I was driving on the off ramp from the 403 by Upper Middle Drive.... I did have a moment (however very brief) to really appreciate the white snow hugging the trees and the ice pelts dangling down from the branches, glimmering and twinkling in the dark night. It truly was a beautiful site to ponder.

This past month I have been thinking a lot about education, schools and just general knowledge. Even as we mature in age, when we learn we thrive and grow richer in personal value. It can be so exciting and rewarding. We should never stop studying, learning and exploring the education system.

Take something that you have a passion for and open up the books on it. Make friends with someone who might share the same passion and learn together. Find and study the words on the particular area you have an interest of and engage in an interactive discussion group.

Have a blast and appreciate the ability you have to read and grow.

Exercise your brains....If you don't use it...You loose it..!

Just my tid-bit for the night.....!

Cheri

Cold Cold Cold and bitterly freezing..... Oh...January must be here with February on it's way....

My skin is refuge for goosebumps and I do believe the circulation has dramatically slowed down in this body causing my feet to be chilled almost like freezer burned bread. So, what do I think of as I sit huddled on the couch with a warm blanket and a book (oh yes with a cup of warm milk and Bailey's Irish cream).... I think of the cottage. It seems as though it was just closed down for the winter and yet I am already thinking of the days when I lazily lay in my lawn chair, shorts and tee-shirt, no socks, no make-up just me as I am. The sun is beating down on the water causing glistening reflections like diamonds being dusted all over the lake. The tiny ripples twinkle at me and invite me to slowly walk in the water, stretch out my arms and just dive in.

I come out of the lake drenched with warm water and lay down as the sun's amazing rays more welcoming than a fluffy towel, dries my body and massages my muscles.

Day after day I am invited by the sun to experience nature's beauty and I lay in the sanctuary of peace, quiet and warmth by the lake.......

And suddenly the dream is over as I hear the furnace grumblingly kicking in, reminding me to ensure I pay the gas bill once again this winter.....

God's Love....I was recently away for two days in Niagara Falls with a large group of friends for get-a-way retreat. We had an awesome time, filled with swimming, walking , talking, sharing, hot tub relaxation, reading and plenty of good food. One of the things that kept me in awe was the reminder of the miracle of Niagara Falls and how we as Canadians overlook this immense beauty.

I had taken several pictures on my digital camera (e-mail me for copies) that actually turned out very nicely. One picture however, was a dismal view of the Falls, just along side of the river. It was taken at the very tip of where the falls dumps into the river. Looking at the picture it seemed to portray an endless pit and with the heavy fog in this particular area, it gave an impression of such gloom. A vision of an endless pit.

The next picture I took of the falls was incredibly beautiful. The sky was bright and the falls were so blue and powerful, absolutely breath taking.

Looking at The Falls in different directions can give us such drastically different views. In viewing these pictures, I was reminded of how often we look at situations and events going on in our lives , watching everything being dumped on top of us, possibly feeling like we are in that pit. If we were able to look away from this point of the journey and look down the path just a bit, we would see the beautiful part of the journey. We would see God's love crashing in all around us, protecting and guiding us. So powerful and mighty crashing down fearlessly over any obstacle or gloom, crushing all of our worries and heartaches. The mist and the beautiful waters flowing over and cleansing us.

On the journey, remember to look slightly ahead to the other side of the river and you will see a beautiful view, the strength and power of God's love, and possibly a blessing you have been waiting for..........

The Journey.... As I sit here once again with an injury that keeps me house bound, I have yet to further discover more things about myself than I care to. I am a complainer when I can't produce something. Maybe I am just simply a complainer. I can't sit still. I dislike being "grounded". I can't stop long enough to rest unless forced. This is good for me.... read, reflect and find out that I am so less than the perfect person I perceive myself as being...haha....

Well, it's a new year. Thank goodness. Dec. 31 at about 11:00 p.m. I realized that I avoid New Year's Eve celebration like the plague and wondered why. I have in the past sat on New Year's eve thinking of the events of the year - pondering the good and the bad. However, I recognized that I was reflecting more on the bad than the good, hence my apprehension for celebration. I attempted a change of thought process and decided that on New Year's Eve I need to focus on a NEW year...not the PAST year. So...here is to a new mind set.

I was thinking about "happiness" this week and was going to elaborate on the ways we go about achieve our perceived notion of happiness but decided to leave you with this note.

'Happiness is a JOURNEY not a DESTINATION".

Welcome 2004!