Well...as all know, I have been struggling somewhat lately with finding something "interesting" to say. Anyway, my "young" faithful friend Danielle... has helped me with the next blog and I paste it right here - as words from her own mouth.

Danielle begins:

Cheri,

I tried to comment on your last blog with this lengthly piece. When I tried to send it, it said that it was too long to send, so this is in response to your - not having anything to write about. Maybe you can copy it and paste it on your next entry and then comment on it. I dont know. Write back, Love Danielle


Sent: Thursday, November 25, 2004 1:45 PM

Talk about "How quickly our lives can change from one minute to the next so to make the most of it"........I heard a really sad story a couple of days ago about a not so close friend but a friend and a dear old soul. She was a volunteer at my kids school, she helped out with pizza days and with my lunch program, The Lunch Lady. She is a grandmother and would volunteer on behalf of her grandson which she basically raised herself. The sun rose on him and set on him, the apple of her eye. He is in grade 2. I haven't seen this lady at all this school year. She hasn't come to any of the lunches as of yet and a few of us had brought that up in conversation. Oh well, maybe she had bigger and better things to do. She is a retired lady. Anyways, I got a phone call from my friend and she asked me if I remembered Lois from lunch days. Of course I did. That kind of woman left an impression on you. Especially the situation she was in with the grandson and all, you dont meet too many people like her. She was the kind of lady that when she spoke to you she touched you in some way, meaning that she would have her arm around you, or hold your arm and look right in your face. The phone call was to inform me that she had a bad fall and that she broke her jaw and that she was in the hospital. Sounds horrible, doesnt it??? Well, that wasn't the worst of it. She has been in a coma since then caused by, I believe, swelling or bleeding of the brain........and she has only a couple of days to live. I can't believe such horrible things happen to such wonderful people and all in a split second. What she fell on or how she fell remains unknown between my friend who passed on the news and I. All we know is that when she passes, heaven will be a better place when she arrives but the dear old soul will be missed by many. Today I pray that her little 7 year old grandson, Robert, has the strength to make it through this very difficult time that he has before him and that he will always remember his grandmother for the amazing person that she was. This is a little tribute to my dear friend, Lois. And to remind us to live life to the fullest because we never, never know when our time is up. Try to tell everyone that you care for how you feel about them as much as often - here today, gone tomorrow. Sad but true.There you go Cheri.....a little inspiration. I await for your next blog. I have a feeling it will be really awesome.Love ya!!

Danielle...I thank you for sharing your heart, maybe it's your turn to start a blogspot!! What more can I say, as I reach for my kleenex and cry for these people...especially the little boy Robert. Remember always that THERE IS A HEAVEN and it's a beautiful place. It's just sad that we leave behind our loved ones who bear the pain of losss.....Maybe if you are an incredible prayer warrior, or maybe you have never prayed, but maybe today you could try....for Robert.

Have a good evening all.... Love, Cheri

Nothing about nothing...Today I had a long day. I am now in my p.j.'s and anxiously looking forward to pulling back my bed covers and sticking my toes deep into the pretty yellow sheets that await me. However, out of a concern of appearing to be old and tired, I am waiting until 10:00. Lately there has been nothing more relaxing for me than crawling into bed and snuggling up to my abundance of pillows and fluffy blankets. I have to tear myself out of bed in the morning, and not because I am tired or depressed, but simply because it feels so good to just lie there.

I have been sneezing continually all week - no appearance of a cold, I don't think I have allergies, yet I continue the sneezing pattern. It's starting to become irritating, my nose is all red and irritated from the not so soft kleenex on my desk.

I have decided I desperately need to exercise. I have visions of me in my cute little gym clothes running around the track and then landing on the tred mill...I have picked out the cute little exercise clothes, I have just not managed to get to the store to buy them. Nor have I even remotely stepped out of the car to visit the gym to even find out how much it would cost to have a cheap membership. So is all I have managed to do is decide that I have to do something about it.

This weekend is my birthday and we will continue to celebrate, heck I need to continue celebrating, after all before I know it, I won't even know it's my birthday!

I know my kids want to buy me presents and they are not sure what to buy so I decided to share with them right here, gift certificates at Future Shop or Best Buy (or even Staples), gift certificates for the Christian Book store, long socks, ink for my computer printer, plastic surgery for the wrinkles around my eyes, pedicure, MASSAGE, cleaning lady for a few months - oh a trip to Texas, Mexico or Portugal.

So...writing has been boring for me lately. The brain is stagnant and I have decided I need to go to Tim's site and steal one of his articles - just to have my friends squeal in astonishment at the level of my intelligence, then my conscience got the better of me and I decided that if I was even going to consider such a tactic, I might better check out a blog spot somewhere and steal their writing...then at least the chances of getting caught are much less....

Oh well....maybe something exciting will come to me this week that I can share....Night.....

Well...the sad news today. I finally share that the cottage that I so enjoy is sold. I have been going through the past two weeks really not thinking about it much. But reality is the sanctuary I have placed myself through out the summers is now going to be the host of a new family. The Hagen /Stinson/Boot/Dobson/Homsy generations have seen their days to incredible fun, laughter, and love. We now stop to breathe, think and rest. I force myself to look to the new journey and avenues of adventure the future will hold for us. I see Italy, Portugal, Peterborough, New York City and B.C. in the vision I cast. I see a change in the history to be made in the future generations of our family. They will no longer be cottage sanctuary seekers - maybe they will be world travelers or sky divers. We do know that they will not be city slickers and hopefully not baseball freaks (sorry Blair!)

Anyway, here's to new roads to be traveled and old worn roads to be treasured. I shall promise to walk the dusty paths of these new adventures in the midst of admitted fallen tears and fear.... but the path we WILL walk......

MOI

Pictures. I am intrigued by the camera. A Cannon, Pentex or a Nikon camera, the heavy ones with interchangeable lenses is a piece of art in my personal opinion. I have a digital camera that manages to take some pretty awesome pictures. However, the sound of the firm click of a lens shutting as it has captured the perfect picture is a sign of a job completed successfully. It does not compare to the dull swish of a digital camera in action. Have you ever held a professional 35 millimeter camera in your hand and snapped away? I see myself in a bit of a jungle snapping pictures of the swinging moneys and running tigers and my vision carries me to my journey along a dusty path to the historic homes in the sunny spots in Portugal. The sun is shining down on my wide brimmed straw hat as I walk in awe through the villages with my cameras hanging off my shoulder and one in hand as I crouch down to snap pictures of the little children playing soccer in bare feet through the streets of their villages.

The trip of adventure is not complete without a good 35 millimeter camera in hand. I am not sure if tonight I am dreaming about me in the quaint villages I want to visit in Portugal or the desire to be an amazing photographer......

It's time to dig into some real heart stuff...stay tuned....
Night......

Birthdays. Some people think that birthday's are the best day of the year. I used to think that until 2004 when realization seeped in that this would be the year of no return. I would be entering the senior stages of life. I refused to acknowledge my coming birthday most of this year. However, the past couple of months has begun to show me that this month is a time of celebration. A celebration of ME. Yes, what awesome creature I am. So perfectly created. So, in honour of all the perfection and incredibleness, I have decided to celebrate. Tonight marks the beginning of a 12 day celebration of me, this incredible being. I celebrate before, on and after the special day. Yipppeeee....what an amazing year it is to celebrate! MOI........

I know, I know...where have I been! Here...just too overwhelmed with "nothing" to write. The past couple of days I have had a nagging feeling - and nagging of what...I don't know. I'll have to figure that one out. But, the most important thing I feel is that I have been reflecting on my new little 8 year old friend (now 9 years!). The little guy who shared with me that he can't run like the other boys. I have an answer...if those little boys want to run...great...think of all the things they are missing as they are running quickly to wherever they are going. When we run we miss smelling the flowers in the gardens, we miss the sun rays that shine down upon us and yes, we even miss the sun glistening off the ice on the side of the road on those icy cold days. I think this week I am going to walk, very slowly.....
Off to bed with me...headache and all!

Today I met an 8 year old boy who shared a bit of his story with me. He said to me "I have muscular dystrophy. I can't walk and run like the other boys. Sometimes they make fun of me." As I sat looking into the eyes of this georgeous child, I thought my heart would leap right out of my chest. I listened to him talk as we walked through a hallway with other children running ahead and past him. I asked him how he felt when the other children laughed at him and he replied "it makes me angry".

This little boy has touched my life in seconds of my day. I wanted to grab him and hold him very close to me and protect him from the harshness of the world that surrounds him. As I walked with him in the midst of other running children, I felt as though for just a few moments, I had a glimpse of his world. It felt so sad. On the other hand, I felt so good that he felt safe enough to share his heart with me. Afterall, I just met him today. His birthday is next week and somehow I have to find a way to touch his life to show him that someone out here thinks he's so special.

Any ideas my friends?

Whewwwww.... I can't believe it has been two weeks since I wrote. I do have excuses...I was off in Kentucky with the Ministry, work has been busy and my house was in desperate need of cleaning, and of course that doesn't even begin to share the magnitude of my crazy schedule, i.e. Bible study, church, socializing with the numerous friends I am blessed to have.

I looked at my stats today and note that I have written 110 entries on this site...I wonder how many of you, my dear friends, have read all 110 entries? Maybe you could share by posting a comment. I'd be very interested to know.

I was thinking as I sat here reflecting how much I think I would enjoy living in a little village on the outskirts of town. I picture myself in the front room in front of my computer, which sits directly in front of a huge picture window that overlooks grass, hills, trees and a running river.... my friends walk by with dogs or children in tow and wave as they walk the journey of a care-free almost stressless life style. Oh to imagine....

Imagine....the word sparkles in my world these days...imagine is like a sparkler lit and held up against the dark black skies of the night... how bright, beautiful and exciting !

Today is my friend’s 40th Wedding Anniversary.

Today she thinks celebrates it without her husband.
Sandy you are not celebrating it with him - on earth anyway, but
I guarantee that there is a party in heaven with Jesus, the angels and
the family that sits with him day by day watching over you.

He smiles down at you Sandy - he shakes his head often as he watches
you dance and live life to the fullest -
Oh how he shakes his head when you set foot on the

dance floor at Sonoma’s!

He’s proud of you that you are so strong and he thanks God
that you have a positive attitude and you smile through the tears.
He cries when you cry my friend.
He laughs when you laugh, and he hugs you

when all your friends hug you.

Today he celebrates that God gave him the most beautiful wife

he could have asked for.
He is thankful that you are there with his precious

children and grandchildren.
Never forget that he sends angels to laugh, dance and cry with you daily.

Today my friend, he raises his glass to you,

his most precious beautiful bride;
The wife he cherishes and loves and he says:

"I laughed with you, I cried with you, I argued with you,
I made love with you, I ate the dinners you cooked for me,
I shopped with you, and I LOVE YOU ....

"Happy Anniversary Baby - You’re one wild and crazy lady !! "

My son... A while back someone asked me when I was going to write about my eldest son Brian. I had not figured out why I hadn't written about him yet and realized that probably because he is my quietest non-assuming child. He is quiet in the house, keeps himself busy with working, his sports and play station games. He's not a huge talker - unless he's just finished a ball hockey game, the Leafs are in the playoffs or if someone important has been traded, or if I have forgotten to buy cereal and milk. Other than that, he is a listener and a watcher.

However, he was not always like that. He was my hyper-active child as a youngster. ADHD takes on a new meaning when this child was born! When he was just over a year old he was jumping so fiercely in his crib that he actually crashed the entire bottom out of the crib and landing on the floor, all while still jumping up and down barely missing a step. He was so busy that I couldn't even sit him on my lap for more than a few minutes at a time, and we would pass him from person to person. At eight months old he knew the word BALL and he was crazy over balls. I'd take him for a stroller ride to the local mall and just inside the doors of Zellers they always had this huge cage type apparatice that contained all kinds of bouncing balls. He'd see those balls and scream for them.

Brian loved being outside, he loved to play on the street with the other kids and when it was time to bring him in, he would scream "blue murder" (remember that saying). The entire neighbourhood would know who it was and why! Then there was the time that he thought peeing on the neighbour's flower gardens was a game. It took quite a bit of time to get him out of his newest fasination, watering the flowers.

Brian had the whitest hair I have ever seen on a baby. He had crystal
blue eyes that twinkled constantly. His smile was so sweet. He still has a sweet smile and manages to use his eye expressions to perfection. He has calmed down considerably and no longer crashes through things. He has a thoughtful and kind heart and makes friends very easily.

I am sure he wonders how he ever ended up in this noisey, crazy family and probably gravitates more to Sandy than any of us - she's almost as quiet as him. Sheira drives him bonkers, he tolerates Joseph and actually appears to enjoy the role of big brother. Me, well apparently he doesn't bother to argue with me as "it's pointless" apparently. He doesn't say he loves us - but I know he does.

These days is fasination is his little remote car. It has gagets and batteries, and a tool box that he carries everywhere - even to his brother-in-law's pre-wedding party in Collingwood where the golf course has taken on a whole new meaning.

I am blessed to watch him grow into this neat man who doesn't really want to give up being the big kid with the toys. I can't wait for a nice young woman to come along, sweep him away from his toys and make him into a good husband and father.

Brian, has challenged me, worried me, made me proud and he has made a difference in my life and the live of his brother's and sisters. He is a special person who has grown up overnight. He's the man of our house!

Thanksgiving... I sat this Sunday afternoon around the kitchen table watching my friends as we celebrated my most favorite celebration - Thanksgiving. I quietly began to think about the many things I am thankful for. First of all, that my friend Julie invited us to share this special dinner with her entire family. I am thankful for Charlene who became my friend over 35 years ago and that she shared her family with me and that they have opened their arms to us. YEA for Charlene, Danielle, Sandy, Julie and their husbands & children! I am thankful that my children are healthy, happy and an incredible blessing to me. I am thankful that my daughter's wedding was everything she dreamed it would be and that her husband made it a very special day for her. Not to mention that my daughters are beautiful and my sons are absolutely handsome. Oh...and of course my new son...Blair...he's pretty awesome too. I am thankful that Michelle and Chanel are still a part of our family and that these children love and care about eachother.

I was at church on Sunday getting ready to help out with some things, and I took some time to say hello to a few friends to whom I have not seen in the past three weeks. I chatted with a few, hugged my favorite little kids (whom I really missed seeing!) and waved at a few friends. As I was heading down the stairs to the front lobby, my quiet dear friend reached out to get my attention and took the time to hug me, say HI and ask how I was. This doesn't sound like anything special (maybe because he's not necessary the "sentimental" type), and I am not sure I could explain why it was so special, but it was. I am not sure he would even suspect how his efforts made my day, but I must say as much as a lot of really neat things happened that day - this was the most special. I bet you he doesn't even realize it was him !

I am thankful for my new friends - the ones that cook for me when it's been a long day, give me more support and love than I could possibly give them. And you my extra special friend - thank you for trusting & letting me be there for you in the tough times.

Today is the 5th anniversary of when my mother passed away. I am not sad about it, as I know that she is at peace and is where she always knew she'd be...Heaven. She spent years believing yet still wondering if there was a heaven and now she has her answers. However, I did carry somewhat of a heavy heart today thinking about how much I miss her. I am not sure I could explain it, but it's this shadow, an emptiness since I lost her. It's a lost diamond in the gold bracelet that's missing. Things just don't quite shine the same without her. I am so thankful that I was given such a beautiful mother. She was the kindest, gentlest and most special person I know. Her zest in life was quiet and yet a powerful one. Mom loved Christmas and we loved watching her at Christmas as she was just like a kid when it came to presents. She loved it so much that every year (even when professing being broke) she bought herself a Christmas present! Without fail, mom would ask each of us what we got her, what did it look like, what colour was it, and what would she use it for. This was always a fun time for me as when she would ask for hints, I would give her the most craziest of hints (never even close to what the present was) and she'd spend days trying to guess what I got her. When she finally opened the present she'd laugh and say, that's not what I thought it would be, "it's not even purple, and I can't eat it!"

I miss her, I love her, I cherish her memory and I cry often when I feel lonely but most of all, I am THANKFUL for her. It was HER that taught me by example to love people, be tolerant of people and always watch for the underdog. She was a quiet, most humble woman who showed perseverance and gratitude continually. I am sure I did not always make her proud, she was a tough act to follow, but I tried. I have incredible stories to share about this woman - some that would make you laugh and cry at the same time.

So, this Thanksgiving, I am truly THANKFUL for my mom and the many people who became my family when life was a little empty.

Night....

The Wedding... For those of you who have been waiting and asking, I share that the wedding was incredibly beautiful and perfect. My daughter was the most beautiful bride I have seen. She was a perfect at midnight as she was at 9:00 a.m. She glowed. The groom was handsome and cried...YES!! He gave his 17 1/2 minute speech and broke down (slightly) a few times. Weather was ordered to perfection.

The limo service on the other hand was the only not so perfect situation and I am sure they will rectify the most smoky incident...details to follow..

I shall share more later, but it's been a long two weeks and I "long" to head to bed.
Cheri

The Wedding.... is quickly approaching. Tonight they had the rehersal at the chapel in the Old Mill where my daughter and future son-in-law are getting married. It's a really exciting time in their lives and I hope they enjoy this time. The beginning of a future together travelling down a new journey of life. I am happy for them and have much to look forward to as they establish roots and start their own life together and hopefully with children. In four days I will be an official mother-in-law. I hope I will be a good one, the kind that keeps her ideas and thoughts to herself. I keep reminding myself that I am "aging" after all I am old enough to be a "mother-in-law"!.........

Night....

Good Morning Tim and Danielle... I am so excited to see that is all I have to do in order to get comments from one of my little blurbs...is to just stop blurbing! So, I honestly tell both of you that I appreciate your faithfulness... I did in fact write a beautiful blog last night but when I went to publish it, my computer froze and I lost the entire writing. So tonight I try to re-create my beautiful thoughts.

I was particularly thinking last night that I must face the fact that I am getting "old". I think when you become a mother-in-law, you are in fact in the new category of "age". So, in a few days I get to bless this lucky guy and become his official mother-in-law. I wonder if he realizes hows lucky he is. I wonder if he will have thoughts of buying an aquarium and stalking it with those little pirahna fish. You know, the ones that bite fingers off when they are poked in water? I remember my brother sharing that he was going to do exactly that in hopes that his mother-in-law felt the urge to stick her fingers in the water! Just for the record, it was Glen not Rick who thought of that.

So, Sunday I have the honour of walking my most beautiful daughter down the aisle of the church on one of the most important and special days of her life. I have no doubt that this 7 lb baby I brought home from the hospital 29 years ago will be the most incredibly beautiful bride ever to be seen. She is just as beautiful inside her heart and soul as she is outside. I also get the honour of watching my other incredible three children join in the wedding. Brian will be one handsome dude in his tux and I can guarantee you the single girls will be all over him. You can also bet that I won't see him in a tux until he gets married. I am most anxious to see my handsome son all decked out for his sister's wedding. Then there is Sheira - she is going to be one of the smashing brides maids - she will be standing proud and pretty. She will most assuredly be there with a huge smile and dancing personality. And of course the child my eldest children call the favoriate -Joseph. He's going to be one sizzling young man in his tux... his spiked hair will give him all the charm and sophistication possible. He's going to be the M.C. and that is going to be very interesting. I can't wait to watch my talented child in action!

Tim, my thoughts wandered to you last night as I was thinking about the vision of you walking Abby down the aisle to the man she chooses as her husband. Your thoughts will be working through thoughts of prayers that this man will take care of this precious little girl of yours, that he would be a good husband and father and that he would love and respect your beautiful daughter as much as you love her. Scary isn't it, that this day will come and probably much faster than you can ever imagine. Trust me.

Danielle... you my dear girl will watch your three handsome sons stand at the front of an alter proudly watching their young bride walk down the aisle with their fathers in anticipation and excitement of marrying the love of her life. You will wonder if she will make a good wife, love your son as you do and provide a beautiful warm home for her family.

Weddings, the beginning of a new life, an amazing journey, a road of fun times, hard times, rocky paths and horizions of sunshine and rainbows......

Change...it is good. Sometimes it is tough to put change into action. To clearly find the direction, have the willpower to make the change and stick to it is not a simple task. Once you have taken the first steps on the path to change, each step after will be much easier. Change is promising, rewarding and a growth experience.

I usually write on this site very late at night and often don't convey my thoughts crystal clear - and often when I look back on what I wrote, I find spelling and grammar mistakes - often to my horror. However, I have not implemented the "change" to getting up at 6:00 a.m. to write this. Apparently 28 days of doing something consistently makes it a "habit"....! Enough talk about anything at 6:00 a.m.!

Night....

As I am getting ready to go to bed I have stopped to read my Bible and I felt compelled to share some scripture with you, my friends. This is scripture from Psalms 143;

Theme: A prayer in the midst of hopelessness and depression. Our prayers should fit into what we know is consistent with God's character and plan. David wrote this.


Verse 4: "When my spirit grows faint within me, my heart within me is dismayed."

Verse 6: "I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land."

Verse 8: "Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."

Psalms 144 (also written by David) says in Verse 7 "reach down your hand from on high; deliver me and rescue me from the mighty waters."

I am not sure why I felt compelled to share these particular scriptures when my heart really has been feeling the need to write on self-esteem, but I am sure there is a need for someone to hear that there is hope for our tired souls. The sun shines brightly just beyond the turn, we will see it once we just take that walk towards it.

Night.....

Part Two.... Insecurities

This August at a women's retreat we were teaching at in Illinois, our Ministry was asked to take part in the Sunday morning services (two of them) in a capacity of sharing the vision of the Ministry as well as singing one of Jason's songs. I was excited for this opportunity to sing with my friends who have incredible voices. Where we were in front of a filled church singing - what an amazing experience. I didn't get a tap on my head and my mike wasn't shut off - and there were no stampedes rushing out the front door of the church. The song was carried beautifully and I apparently managed to carry a tune, gently. I did it! I closed my eyes and sang my heart out to Jesus and it sounded like the purring of a gentle kitten.

All this sharing was inspired by Tim's writing - to which I share here (hope that's O.K. TIM?) Tim talks about being told to participate in the high jump session of his high school's track and field event because he was "taller" than the others.

"I just ran and jumped over it. I cleared it too. As I headed back down the line I heard people giggling at me, yet I think they were quite impressed that I could just jump over it and land on my feet on the other side. I didn't win that day because in the end my technique just wasn't good enough. I could only do so much with the training I had received (which is to say, no training at all). As usual I found myself near the middle of the pack."

I guess what inspired me was that Tim stepped out and just did it. He heard giggles after, but he had confidence knowing that he did it - and despite his apparent lack of "technique", he jumped and landed!

I realise I have jumped and jumped and jumped and I finally landed - right smack dab on the altar of a church singing to the most important person - Jesus! I encourage you, if there is something you passionately want to do but are held back by fear of failure, stop there and JUST DO IT! The time and place will provide you the reweards of just stepping out and doing it!

Insecurities.... Oh how I have a few.... and I certainly carry memories of moments where I was feeling completely inadequate. I was reading an article on my friend Tim's site a while back and it really sparked some memories for me. Not necessarily painful, thank goodness, but instead are now quite humorous to me. I particularly remember in junior public school at the beginning of each new year meeting to "try out" for the school choir. I longed to sing as far back as I can remember. With my bright blue eyes and shiny blonde hair freshly brushed, I'd rush to the gymnasium with the flurry of other children to sing for the teacher. Imagine this... the music starts and the gymnasium floods with voices belching out, as the teacher walks behind listening to the children in each line. The gig back then was a tap on the head meant you had to sit down as you didn't make the cut. I could feel the movement of our teacher behind me and closed my eyes in hope that she would not tap my head again this year. I guess I didn't hope quite hard enough...I got tapped, again!

My desire to sing has really been a touchy subject over the years since public school. I remember sitting with my cousin Debbie when I was about 26 as we belched out the words to a Meatloaf song (the name of the song escapes me). We taped our duo and upon completion we played it back. To my utter dismay I still missed the gig, I didn't have it. The sound of my voice made even me laugh.

Then there was the time that I had the courage to sing at Karraokee in Niagara Falls. This time I did not choose to sing, I was set-up by a friend.... as I was heading to the stage, I managed to grab the hand of a total stranger (male with long blonde hair that looked like he could sing). He gallantly joined me (and thank goodness - to my good fortune he was apparently in a band and could sing). We introduced ourselves to each other and began to sing one of those 8 minute songs (and again the name of the song escapes me). Apparently it didn't take long for the D.J. to turn my microphone off so the crowd could hear only my newly attained friend's voice. I thought I did well until I finally discovered the D.J.'s move.

You would think I would stop there... no I didn't. I had been singing for months alone in the car along to a song my friend Kim sang on her husband's newly produced CD (and by the way if you want to listen to an excellent Christian CD - check out www.jasonmcgibbonproject.com) and decided that as I sang along with Kim, I could manage to keep a good tune and actually sounded half decent. So finally, a glimmer of confidence begins to bud. Last April at our women's Christian retreat in Niagara Falls, our "techie" TULIP guys were getting my mike adjusted for my session while our worship band was rehearsing and somewhere deep inside of me as I stood in that banquet hall, I had the thought that I could sing like Britney Spears. So with head gear on I very carefully and in a low pitched tone joined in and sang with the band for brief moments. Thank goodness some sort of conscience nabbed me and I stopped myself from jumping on stage and belting out the song with the other ladies.

The story does not end here, but as my blog spot publishing has been giving me trouble, I have to do this in two parts....stay tuned for part two tomorrow.

Change... I don't like change. I wasn't like that many years ago, it seems to be a new personality trait I have developed over the last five years. Little changes are only somewhat of a hindrance. I get bored with routine, such as getting up at 7:00 a.m. every morning, blindly making my way to the shower, talking to myself in order to wake-up, stepping out drying off and proceeding to complete the "make-up" process. Boring! Yet it's a routine that does not leave much room for change - I have to shower and I have to put make-up on! Just to share, I don't really get up at 7:00 a.m. however I am going to have to now as Joseph is in high school which is bringing about much earlier hours. Earlier mornings - this is a good thing I keep telling myself.

It's the decision making of big changes that I dislike. The idea of major change produces extreme anxiety for me. Job change, moving, buying, selling, decision making all fluffs my feathers beyond comprehension. I like things as they are, then I don't have to weigh the options, second guess the effects and concern myself with the mistake of a possible change. I was taken back in complete surprise the other day when Joseph shared with me that he "doesn't like change." I didn't think a fourteen year old boy would even think about "change." I think once he gets into the routine of his new changes, he will love it. Me, I think I will also "love" the new changes..... maybe.....

I have however learned that we need to make changes after careful weighing of options, especially the ones that you have no control over, and just walk on the new journey looking straight ahead - no looking back - even if you are stumbling over the stones and slippery roads on the new journey. We won't grow if we allow ourselves to make changes. We become stagnant without change. My neighbour's aunt shared with me a month or so ago that in her opinion, we must always strive to change the places we live, the places we work and the way we think. She reminded me of the way I used to be when I was a young spontaneous, carefree young woman. Aunt Mary (as well call her) is somewhat older than I am and a very wise woman, who has given us inspiration and confidence !

In making changes, be reminded we will stumble if we take our eyes off the road ahead just to look back. The path on the new journey may not be easy, we may fall flat on our faces coming up with cuts, bruises and scrapes. Don't let those little aggravations bring you to a halt on the journey. Look forward to the new journey with anticipation, excitement and hope. Don't be tempted to take your eyes off the path to look back. I shall keep reminding myself of that as I continue to make changes I thought I'd never make. Don't let fear stop you from making decisions that you know you have to take - for whatever reason.

Have a blast today!

I am speechless tonight. I have not spent enough time quietly sitting, reading and thinking to even have thoughts of something that may inspire the gang who faithfully read this site. I know you are somewhat dissapointed in my lack of creativity, but promises being showered your way for an amazing train of incredible life changing thoughts will come your way next week.

Turning in to prepare for a weekend away..... Night....