Well... the other day I was informed that my friend starts her day with morning tea in hand and my bright shinny blog spot in face. I didn't realize I was the start of her day - poor soul - many dissapointments these mornings! A blank screen. Yes, my friends I have had February blllaaaassss... Not sure I have ever experienced this type of "winter downs" (whatever they call that thing). I never knew what it felt like to not want to get out of bed and hiding from reality with the covers pulled over my head and pillows on top to prevent the blowing heat whistling through the vents from rippling the sheets off my face.

Depression? No. Explain it? Probably can't really. Sun deprived? Yes - absolutley. Didn't realize what it was until early last week when we were blessed with an afternoon of sunshine. All of a sudden I felt revitalized and refreshened...it was so awesome - like a face lift almost. Face lift would give me a cute date - sunshine just a spirit lift......

This evening was filled with some weird events one thing after another that prevented me from actually sitting down with my son and a friend to enjoy the dinner I was trying to cook. One of the things was that just as I was finishing the cooking process a little knock came to my door. Upon peering out my front window we see a tiny girl with her hands up around her little face trying to catch a glimpse of us. Major tears could be clearly seen streaming down her swollen red face. We opened the door and welcomed her in - recognizing her as the neighbour's little three year old. She poured in crying that she wanted her mommy and daddy, causing us immediate alarm. We calmed her down and asked here where mommy and daddy were - and she responded "working". I think you can only imagine the concern we experienced that moment.

I then continued to question her asking if anyone was home with her. She responded that her old uncle was home. Thoughts that maybe something happened to the uncle sprang to mind, and I left the cute little one with my friend as I headed to the neighbour's home. I rang and rang and rang the door bell for about five minutes when finally the uncle appeared. I shared the story of our little visitor and he, looking irritated and a little sleep deprived (or something) in his broken English asked me to bring her back. When I came back and told her uncle was home and wanted her to get back, she had an immediate look of concern and worry and shared she wasn't going home - said she was staying with us and watching t.v.. So, I did the journey back to share with uncle that it was o.k. with me if she watched t.v. for a while. I so didn't have the heart to send her back as she looked so upset. Anyway, old uncle gruff said "grab her by arm and pull her home"... (Likely buddy!) Don't get me wrong, he has always appeared to be a nice guy but he is most certainly one of these old school guys (Portugese) and I wasn't arguing with him - yuck... neither was I going to drag that child back.

Long story, she did end up going back as she thought her daddy had come home in the big truck that pulled up. However that little girl's face keeps coming back to me for many reasons. I think of the scared lonely children out there in this world, in fact right in our neighbourhoods, I think of the abused children around the corners. Reality of how easy it is for a child to get lost and dissapear struck like lightening (thank goodness she came to my house and not wander down the street somewhere).

I don't believe she is an abused child - I think that mommy and daddy have their hands full as young parents trying to make ends meet and provide a home for their child. Yet, those little brown eyes and pretty face kind of haunt me tonight - as I shared moments of her own real fear of mommy and daddy not home and being stuck with old uncle who just doesn't fit the bill of mom and dad nor good babysitter. I can only touch the surface of imagining children who may never experience the joy of when mommy and daddy finally make it home. The little souls that lay in bed aching to know the love of a mom and dad. Grab your little monster children today - and just hug them - refresh their memories of just how much they matter to you. Oh, and don't leave them with old uncle to be babysat......

Night.......................

My blog spot "counter" I guess you could call it - has clocked me in at 110 postings...well of course I have written way more than 110 - and not sure why it doesn't keep accurate count. That bothers me because I do count and I am competitive. I compete against myself constantly. Wonder if that makes me a freak? I am looking for a volunteer to count the posts??

Anway, I checked out for comments today - as you lovely friends of mine so seldom share you comments...I was pleasantly surprised to see that Dani, Gina and TIM had commented...I also noted that the long hard writing of Sunday's blog that I thought I lost - actually somehow ended up on the site, which is weird as when I checked it out earlier, I didn't see it. Hmm.

Tonight I went to see Randy Bachmann - yes of the famous Guess Who and BTO. Do you know how Guess Who got their name? I do. What a rocking happening concert tonight. I had an incredible time. I do have to share that it was not just the music that allowed me to slip back into time that was so great tonight, it was the inspiration Randy was for me this evening. He shared the ups and downs and laughs of his career with a refreshing, humble nature. Seemingly an almost shy person, he personifies intelligence, perceiverance, and a down to earth country boy heart, with a rock and roll spirit. He shared that when he has a thought or a lyric, for a potential song - he immediately writes it down - or he will certainly forget it. He has shelves in his heart where he lays things down - only often to come back to later and historically write that winning song.

We all need shelves to put those things on until we have the wisdom or the strength to come back and pick it up - whether to toss it away or to dust it off and begin to appreciate it.

Off to bed to dust some of those things I put on a shelf...like my pillow...
Oh, Happy Birthday Chanel!

Night.............

There is a piece of chocolate cake sitting in my car, it is 12:11 a.m. and I am starving....yet too lazy to go get it. Oh well, it will be good for breakfast. I wrote a thought yesterday (a good one in fact - or so I presumed) but the system failed to let me post it. I surmise there was a reason that particular thought of mine was to be kept out of print.

Today I was thinking about how we sometimes may miss the opportunity to really get to know someone and of course the flip side of how some people are open enough to reach out and open the doors to new friendships. I began to be curious about the new friends I have met in the past year. I wonder as they get to know me, what do they see? Can they see though the wax paper and see the real me? Am I transparent or do I resemble the glass we see in the bathrooms of older homes... you know the frosted type with diced looking chunks in it? I tend to think that many people can't see the real me because of that dicy glass. I think there are few people who are inquisitive enough to recognize that if they open up that window so they can see into the room I inhabit, they might find this very unique being................Hmmm..........

Do you ever wonder? I do constantly, wonder this, wonder that and question so much.

Wonder - what people think when they enter relationships with others? I say that because I was at a social function on the weekend where I was watching a younger couple interact with each other. This couple on the outset to a few of us, appear to be totally mismatched. I reiterate the word "totally". There seems to be so many couples who are together and they probably wonder how they managed to be a couple. What was the attraction - the draw to become a couple is a question I ask (and so should they). I wonder what chances of success and happiness a couple has, if their relationship is so obviously out of wack to others. Can it be that when others manage to see this, that the couple have no clue?.

It seems very clear to me that many couples get into relationships out of physical attraction and desire, lonliness or simply "fall into it" and they put friendship and human psychological bonding at the bottom of the list. (been there - done that!)

I am relieved to be 50 (yikes!!!) and having learned the lesson of making friends first... it's a long road to finding a potential partner, but I know that it will be worth it in the end. It is not an easy route as it's a constant battle to resist the temptation of human physical desires. I have learned the key to what I hope is a more solid foundation in love. I do not have it together (far from it) but at least I have managed to get the concept down! Now for the rest of the formula.

Those reading this who were at the function will be scratching their heads and wondering who inspired these thoughts. Who knows, maybe what I perceived wasn't what is in actuality.

Night once again!

Do you ever wonder? I do constantly, wonder this, wonder that and question so much.

Wonder - what people think when they enter relationships with others? I say that because I was at a social function on the weekend where I was watching a younger couple interact with each other. This couple on the outset to a few of us, appear to be totally mismatched. I reiterate the word "totally". There seems to be so many couples who are together and they probably wonder how they managed to be a couple. What was the attraction - the draw to become a couple is a question I ask (and so should they). I wonder what chances of success and happiness a couple has, if their relationship is so obviously out of wack to others. Can it be that when others manage to see this, that the couple have no clue?.

It seems very clear to me that many couples get into relationships out of physical attraction and desire, lonliness or simply "fall into it" and they put friendship and human psychological bonding at the bottom of the list. (been there - done that!)

I am relieved to be 50 (yikes!!!) and having learned the lesson of making friends first... it's a long road to finding a potential partner, but I know that it will be worth it in the end. It is not an easy route as it's a constant battle to resist the temptation of human physical desires. I have learned the key to what I hope is a more solid foundation in love. I do not have it together (far from it) but at least I have managed to get the concept down! Now for the rest of the formula.

Those reading this who were at the function will be scratching their heads and wondering who inspired these thoughts. Who knows, maybe what I perceived wasn't what is in actuality.

Night once again!

Do you ever wonder? I do constantly, wonder this, wonder that and question so much.

Wonder - what people think when they enter relationships with others? I say that because I was at a social function on the weekend where I was watching a younger couple interact with each other. This couple on the outset to a few of us, appear to be totally mismatched. I reiterate the word "totally". There seems to be so many couples who are together and they probably wonder how they managed to be a couple. What was the attraction - the draw to become a couple is a question I ask (and so should they). I wonder what chances of success and happiness a couple has, if their relationship is so obviously out of wack to others. Can it be that when others manage to see this, that the couple have no clue?.

It seems very clear to me that many couples get into relationships out of physical attraction and desire, lonliness or simply "fall into it" and they put friendship and human psychological bonding at the bottom of the list. (been there - done that!)

I am relieved to be 50 (yikes!!!) and having learned the lesson of making friends first... it's a long road to finding a potential partner, but I know that it will be worth it in the end. It is not an easy route as it's a constant battle to resist the temptation of human physical desires. I have learned the key to what I hope is a more solid foundation in love. I do not have it together (far from it) but at least I have managed to get the concept down! Now for the rest of the formula.

Those reading this who were at the function will be scratching their heads and wondering who inspired these thoughts. Who knows, maybe what I perceived wasn't what is in actuality.

Night once again!

Boy and Girl....continued.....

"Then came the girl. She was silken. She was a summer breeze.
He craved her softness, her scent.

Greater than science or magic. His clumsy hands could touch her like a whisper! Dare he use the word! No, never! Why invite the fultures to tear it open? To leave a smearing gash oozing, rotting entrails stinking on the floor. To be made a fool. To break a heart.

But it was too late. He needed her form, her laughter. When the lights were out, every fear, every hate disolved. Every moment she was away became an hour. Ever hour stretched into eternity. He needed her. Without her he was naked. Would she wait for him? Perhaps not, but he had to find out. He came back......

The boy became a man.

Yes, I know the story well, for I know the boy well.

He is me, and she is you. Boy and Girl.

Boy Loves Girl..."

Toujours.......

This poem written by an unknown writer has sat in my journal for some time now....I often think of this man, wondering who he is and who she was...... He pours his heart out on this very special paper - for a very special woman who's very existance reminds me of the very finest satin. I see her swaying ever so gently as she walks through the warm sand digging her toes in deep just as dusk settles in. The wind ever so softly caressing the long strands of her hair flinging wildly into the evening breeze.... She is beautiful, and it's him that sees her beauty that lies deep inside her heart......

Night..........

June 11, 1988 ......... Boy and Girl

Two summers ago I was given a book by a neighbour. I can't even remember what the book was titled. The only thing I can remember is the piece of linen paper lined with hand writing formed neatly in fountain pen blue ink, captioned "Boy and Girl"that fell out of the inside cover as I opened it.

There contained a story so captivating that I feel compelled to share it with you tonight as I have once again picked it up and laid in the clouds as I read it. Let your imagination run wild and place faces to this boy and girl we are about to meet.

"He do not want to face it. Even when he knew it was there in front, staring at him, daring him to deny, he turned away. He tried to run. He wanted to hide from it, to forget...... but when the music is loud......

What sort of man could become trapped, would be enslaved by foolish emotion? Not I, he cried triumphantly. He nearly believed it.

Let me tell you about the boy. He trod the hardpath. He learned one hundred lessons, but only through making one thousand mistakes. Never, he swore to himself, was he to let his heart rule his head.

He knew what he wanted..... or did he?

He had ambition but not reason and he was bitter.

Pride misconstrued for arrogance made him cynical.

The honesty he craved so badly was nowhere to be found.

The evasiveness made him misanthropic.

He had two strong arms but they were empty.

Something was missing.

Then came the girl.

She was silken.

She was a summer breeze......."

To be continued.......

The Package..... Have you ever been in a room and locked eyes with someone as you immediately formed an opinion on who this person is and what they are like? Recently, I was at a conference that drew many women. During the break, I headed to the refreshment table and as I was filling my tea cup, a woman joined me, who's stature took me back a bit, initially making me feel a bit uncomfortable. She was a tall woman, very strong looking and almost tough around the edges. I hesitated to write this article for fear that my description of this woman may be perceived as harsh, as it certainly isn't meant to. We ended up in an interesting conversation and I was surprised to listen to a voice that was so gentle, unlike her outward appearance. As we filled our cups and plates with warm drinks and delicious desserts, I listened with fasination as her humble, soft nature unfolded throughout the conversation.

Later that evening when everyone was leaving, I could see her heading towards me, her facial expression not necessarily that of a gentle being and I again felt a bit leary as I saw her stretch out her arms to fold me in a hug. She was quite a big strong looking woman, and me being somewhat delicate, I worried slightly that she might hurt me as she hugged. I admit I took a deep breath as she brought her arms around me, yet she so gently hugged and thanked ME for taking the time to talk to her. She smiled and headed out the door. She had no idea her stature had evoked some nervousness in my heart. She had no idea the impact she had on my heart that night.

I have reflected often on how we so quickly allow our first impressions to form in our heads as to who someone is or is not. I formed a quick opinion that this woman was rough and harsh, yet in spending time with her, I was able to experience the splendor of who she was - a beautiful, humble, gentle woman just waiting for someone to be a friend.

I'm glad I was afforded the opportunity to have met this lady! I am priviledged to have met such a gentle humble spirit. Don't turn away from an opportunity to meet that person you might have initially turned away from - you never know who you might REALLY meet.

Well... just for an appetizer - I share that I have a beautiful
story to share over the next two days........ stay tuned.....
You won't be disappointed.... Night....

Tonight we were helping my daughter begin the move into the new apartment her and her husband are starting their married life in. Both daughters were on the counters in the kitchen ripping off old mack-tack from the shelves of the cupboards and my friend and I were watching them. As they were ripping, complaining and chatting I listened as my youngest asked my eldest, "what happened to the lady who lived here, did she die?" My eldest responded, "I'm not sure, she was in the hospital". "Oh, said the youngest," and they went on about their business. It struck me that in life we run our course whether it be 66 years or 96 years, but at the end of that journey we are just dust to others. We move out of a place in the journey and right behind us is someone else going forward from where we left off.

I couldn't help but wonder who the lady was, what did she look like, did she have family who cared about her, was she thin and frail, and on the day she moved into that apartment, did she have help settling in. I wondered if she is now in a nursing home or if God had called her home.
I hope she is happy in the place the journey has taken her to.

As for my daughters, I wonder either one of them thought about her beyond those few questions they shared.

Night..............

Just when I thought....the crowd of supporters might have jumped ship for a more interesting blogger, along she comes - comments and all... YES!! I am not alone in this cold, icy world...someone is still reading! Yippeee...thanks once again Danielle... I am glad that something I wrote caught the attention of someone out there.... It's a lonely world without supporters....haha...

My friend Sheryl sent me a birthday card last year,a pretty white card with a huge yellow smilie on the front... and on the inside a smaller smilie.... and the words read "Smile! You're loved"! I found the card on Monday evening and I have pinned it up on the wall in my office, right beside the computer screen. It reminds me that I am blessed with truly loving, amazing friends. Yes, I AM LOVED!

I hope one day that someone might look back and say, "she" (meaning me) made my day! I hope during my journey I shower as much love on each of you!

In the meantime, think of us my dear friends sitting all together by a quiet river bank, green grass tickling our toes as we sit on blankets, reaching into picnic baskets full of food, sharing stories and fun. As we sit in unity, may we hear rushing sounds of the running stream, beautiful birds flying gracefully overhead, the gentle whisper of the wind caressing wild flowers as the rays of the orange sun beam down on us, warming our hearts and souls as we share quiet times and lunch together.

This my friends is what God gives us - free, friendship - reach out grab it and cherish it.
LOVE YA
Cheri

People who talk in riddles really bore me. Actually, I am not sure if they bore me as much as they irritate me. Is it because I am "aging" or is it that I am so less tolerant of people who can't just be human? I think people who talk in riddles are covering up something - playing games something like dodge ball. The conversation that flows in riddles draws me to the vision of a masked bandit - looking for a target and already has the escape route mapped out.

That's all for tonight... from the serious chick...

Settling in.... Well the Christmas hustle is over and today marks the real beginning of progression of a new year. A new work week, a new year. Have you ever taken a walk down memory lane with your photo album? I think generally we take many pictures of our families, trips and events - if most of us are organized we promptly place them in a photo album and then file them away in a cabinet. Note I say "generally" this is a routine for most people. A couple of days ago I started yet one more attempt at organizing my office at home and I picked-up a box of "things". In it was a big wack of loose pictures - I started to sort through it, throwing out blurry pictures, doubles of pictures etc. Then I found a handful of old pictures with my grand mother in them, my aunt, myself, my cousin and brothers when we were very young. It was so awesome to look at these pictures, and I was reminded how quickly life runs past us. I am not quite sure we can run fast enough ahead of the aging process to really make the absolute most of every single day we are blessed with - but I encourage each one of you - ME INCLUDED - to try hard to keep up to the wonders of each day. Make the most out of our lives, what we want to do - or if we don't know - run fast to find out what it is we want to do!

Listen to that inner self that is prompting you - there's a reason.

My mom's aunt.... Her name is Iwilla (Aunt Willie for short). She is the one lady in my family that I admit I am most like. Who is she, what is she like? First I share she has always been a pack-rat (is that what we are called) and there isn't a day that goes by where I am reminded of that inherited quality I possess. She is one heck of a determined, strong, no nonsense, stubborn woman (stubborn being another inherited quality for me). When she said NO, it was NO! She has my respect as she supported her sick husband through some difficult years, carried their family and raised her son to be an amazing much respected teacher. She worked hard all her life. She was one sassy looking lady, her slim features, full head of dark curly hair and cherry blossom lips that stand out in every picture we have of her. She is an avid reader with probably at least 150 books in her home at any given time. She loves sunflowers and my children, especially Sandy. She never forgot when someone did a good deed for her and she never forgot to say "I love you" to me when we talked, and when she said it, you knew she meant it!

My Aunt Willie took sick this summer, being diagnosed with cancer. She has battled through treatment - determined to see past the cold winter days as she longed for the sunshine of the new summer to come. The past few days have seen for a weaker time and she is now waiting in peace for the next phase of her journey through life. It won't be long before she gets to personally meet Jesus with His extended hand and smiling face. He will soon embrace my wonderful aunt as He escorts her through the golden paths of heaven. She soon will be joined with my mom and they will laugh and dance all afternoon in celebration of coming home. I pray that peace is with her as she rests this evening and that when the time comes, that she soars through heaven just as she knew she would. My heart is heavy and sad that I soon will loose my special aunt and her son will loose his awesome mom.

I now once again find myself reflecting on life and what it really is - what matters and what doesn't. I take 2005 on with gusto, all hopes and anticipation of a year of change and challenge. I wait quietly for news of my aunt's new journey.

Cheri

Well everyone is getting geared up for New Year's Eve. I could never understand what the big hipe is over this particular day. I mean, I know it's a significant day of the year - however is it significant enough for people to spend hundreds of dollars a person to be entertained and fed? I hear of people spending $200 a person to go out for an evening that on any other night would cost less than $50.00 ! If only we got geared up like that for every single day of the year!

I was driving along the other day and my thoughts drifted to a vision of myself. This vision was kind of blurry and all of a sudden I saw myself walking around one of those mirrors you see in an amusement fun park, the ones that make you look short and fat or long and skinny, even wavy all over, depending on where you are standing. I realized that the past year I have actually been the product of a mirror that was somehow showing my reflection in those ways. One day I was just as I appear and the next I was somehow distorted into the vision of a person I didn't recognize. Who was that lady with the short fat legs - didn't she once have long skinny legs?

I started to think of people and their personalities as we facilitate roles of mother, father, office manager, plant manager, courier drivers, husbands, wives, girlfriends. All of us brushing through the daily requirements of our employment jobs and the roles we carry at home. Do we ever spend time playing "our" role, the person we "really"are. The person who laughs and jokes, the one who's eyes sparkle with the excited anticipation of something that's going to happen. The man or woman who can throw everything to the wind to spontaneously just run and jump for joy. Do we often allow ourselves to let our complete guard down, banish our concerns and worries and just really enjoy life. Throw caution to the wind? Do we often let ourselves run through the rain storm with our hair flying and flapping everywhere without care?

Turning an amazing milestone in my life, I am feeling a mid-life crisis coming on. I have always wanted auburn hair, I have always dreamed of Italy and the beach house that has a small desk and computer reserved for me - the one I see myself through the open window that is open for the sea breeze to flow through spitting salt water at me. Long beaded hippie skirts look so comfortable as do capris pants and long walks along sandy beaches. I long to do something wild and crazy like call into work and take 2 weeks off, jump a plane for Europe without telling anyone until I am thousands of feet into the air (do airplanes fly that high?), carrying nothing but a nap sack. I dare myself continually to just quit work and travel for three months. To visit missionary camps, to meet a handsome Italian man, to write that book, to sit with women in foreign under priviledged countries and listen to their hearts. There is so much I long to do that my conservative reserved cautious ways protect me from doing. I wonder recently, what happened to that carefree girl I once was - when did she grow up and grab that spontaneous nature and wrap big gold bows on it and stuff it in the oversided bag that she hid under the comforters in the closet?

I often tell so many younger women to enjoy life, have fun and remember that the years fly by and before you know it - you are entering the final years of life and you wonder how did it go so fast. I wonder if on my head stone it will say "she threw caution to the wind" or "Italy will never be the same" or will it say "she wrapped herself in her cocoon staying soft and protected"..... hmmm... will my spontaneous nature return to shake up the journey of my mid-life crisis to make 2005 a year to remember......

Anyway, New Year's Eve - it's most certainly over-rated!

MOI

Crying and how it gets the job done! Right! I was almost finished a blog to share with you the other day when Joseph frantically called me from his bathroom shouting "mom - help, there is water all over the floor". I went to the bathroom and getting on my knees I indeed verified the water situation, as I sat right in it. I was beginning to feel slightly panicked but tried to remain composed all while talking myself into not thinking the worse. Well, it didn't last long as I discovered it was the toilet that was leaking, however I couldn't figure out from where. Finally I found a crack in the toilet tank and I sat back in frustration and cried, really cried.

Joseph looked at me with worry and I simply asked him to leave me alone for a while. What did I do? I flushed the toilet, honestly thinking about putting my head inside, and then shut the water off to the toilet. Good thinking aye?! So you ask in wonder why in the heck would I have cried over something like that? Well, It was not the entire toilet situation that made me cry. It was the fact that the "boy's" bathroom was messy despite my numerous pleas to them to clean it, my cottage deal is quickly going sour and may not close (goodbye car), the front door lock is acting up, my back patio door is frozen up strangely from the inside, the car I am driving is acting up, the dog ate a cake I was bringing to a friend' s house for dinner and the list goes on and on this week. Oh, and I wonder if I might be a single, lonely woman as I shuffle along with my cane into old age. Isn't that enough?

Well.. joy comes quick. We don't need this toilet immediately - there is another one in the house, and I think there has to be a way to fix this relatively inexpensively. If the cottage does not sell, so what - I just get to sit by the lake one more summer. And big deal if the car breaks down - there are buses and FRIENDS. And heck if I do shuffle off into old age as a single chick - think of all the laundry and cooking I will miss doing.

But you know what, crying certainly relieves pressure and frustration !

I can't believe it's been almost two weeks since I wrote - soon my followers will be long gone with dust kicking behind their heels. I had hit a point in my life that I was so busy that my home was a drop in centre. I'd drop in to pick up something to head somewhere, only to come home to drop into bed to jump back out and repeat the same routine. I had recently stopped and wondered how that routine happened. So, I have deliberately put a temporary cease to all my activities that have pulled me away from home. I am in a nesting stage. Resting, regrouping and really enjoying just being home. I will now have time to turn this computer on and let the thoughts process.

I think most of us hit a stage in life where we wonder where the past years have went, we realize it was a blur of activity. Are you really doing what you want to do with your life, or are you in a rut. I mean a rut that you can personally do something about. Three months ago, due to a literal crash in a wall, I turned my life around. I did things that under normal circumstances would have scared me - like quit a 14 year job - one I believed I'd retire from. I quit it without even job hunting. I left the job on August 19th with not even a slight insight into a new job. The first morning of my unemployment, I was woke to a call from someone who knew me and was put in a difficult situation, needing me to help him for a few days. Then I had a job interview three days later - to which the same day I landed the job - packed with more salary, and benefits that I didn't have with my previous employer of 14 years.

I was blessed and protected during this time period. I have grown through the experience of just stepping out in faith. This year has been a year of major trials and tribulations, but somehow by the grace of God, I have landed with both my feet on the ground. Those feet might be somewhat bruised and sore, but I landed. This I realize, is just the beginning of many changes to come in 2005.

What about you..... what is is that YOU have wanted to change, but have either procrastinated on or have been frozen with fear about? And, what do you think you will do in 2005?

Night.........

I think I am dealing with exhaustion, yet I keep going. I feel like a dollar store version of a duracell battery. I just keep going, but the going just gets slower. I miss writing and think about it all the time, when I am driving to work, eating my lunch or staring out the window at work. I am going to get back on routine once I get the cottage work, moving and sale done. I am also going to get my home office finished - it's been in a mess since last February. (hmmm.. that's almost a year!)

Well... my charger just ran out of energy, I am going to plug it in over night and anticipate that when I wake up I shall be re-energized. I have a full schedule now until Sunday. I guess I should be thankful for such a full social life. If I was sitting home all the time, I would figure I wasn't well liked.

Night.........
from wheepy and sleepy...

Yesterday I received a pleasant surprise, yes more surprises!! My brother in B.C. was talking to me via Ma Bell and he said, "I hear you had a big birthday weekend, surprises and a big birthday bash." I was taken back that he knew about it as I had not talked or written to him. I asked how he knew about it and he said "I read about it your blog spot." Yippeee... my brother reads my off the wall writing. I was quite impressed that he took the time. So, I guess just more inspiration to keep sharing, afterall a relative is checking it out. Now if I could just get them to take a ride on the comments section!

I had a nice birthday dinner yet once again Thursday evening - shared with my cousin, her man and my son. Deb's birthday and mine are two weeks apart, and a few years - she being the younger party. I received really neat news - her and Dave finally got engaged...yes, they are eventually going to jump off the diving board and tie the knot. YIPPEEEEEEEE!! Congratulations.

Oh, I have posted way over 100 posts on this site, however the counter has stopped counting?! Weird. My next project is to figure out how to get pictures on this site. I have another little blog I was thinking about running, but didn't have much success with it (check it out at: singlefriends.blogspot.com) but I managed to get pictures posted on that site. I am going to try to set it up for this one now! Shall see how the weekend holds out time wise for me!

Night...Cheri

I, being a deep thinker (often so deep I get lost), have been wondering if there is anyone else out there other than me that wants to slam on the brakes of life. You know, just stop everything that is going on in this world, our cities and neighbourhoods. Stop the wars, violence and destruction. The state of our world is critical and extremely sad. Young children proudly carrying rifles, young children being killed in the cross fire of adult domestic issues, widespread diseases, unsafe cities and homes, hatred and wars all around us. Joseph continually comments that he thinks I should be watching more t.v. and paying attention to the politics in our world - and I tried, but maybe I am like a duck in the water, I just want to float down the lake being warmed by the sunshine as I stick my head in the water to hide from the issues of our world. As much joy that I know is there, I have a very awareness of the darkness all around us - that appears to me many people don't really comprehend. I can't help but wonder if those people that drive beside me in the morning rush hour ever think like I do?

Anyway, I am thankful for my faith and the peace I receive through all the trials of this world. With my personality and thinking mechanism as it is, I would be ravaged with fear.

Night......