Sunday, December 14, 2003

Christmas is almost here....I just started to get my act partially in gear. I have the Christmas tree up and decorated, looking quite fine as usual, I might add. Tonight we had our first house full of guests to celebrate Christmas and the joy of our friendships.

We enjoyed a beautiful evening together eating food and scrumptious desserts. The heart of the evening was just sitting curled up on couches totally enjoying our time together. With the tree tinkering and sparkling with it's pretty white lights and the candles flickering warmth around us. We are close and dear friends of 35 years - bringing along spouses and children into the circle of family.

We are so blessed..... take time to enjoy the special time Christmas brings with family and friends.

Saturday, December 13, 2003

Sneak peak into the journal of a woman....
Scary thoughts...right? I read a journal of a woman on a journey to change and thought I might share... Daddy's Little Girl... Oh so stable a life I grew up in, mom, dad, brothers. I was given unconditional love and support and encouraged to give it back. What happened to that little girl...she's now much older and has not been so stable through the years. She spent the growing up years facing too much hurt and disappointment. Spend too many days feeling anxious and heavy hearted, lacking real direction. She doesn't even know what was really wrong.

One day something happens and she wakes up to a new world as she learns to love God. Simple love of God, nothing preachy and crazy, just simple. She still faces many more challenges, falls to her knees often, but this time she knows it will be different. She puts her faith and trust in God to carry her through the heavy burdens. She hears him say to her
" focus on me, love me, trust me, hand it over to me" She listens and gains much stability. He says to her "I appreciate you. When you look to me and only me, then I will allow others to appreciate you".... and she prays "Can I please Lord stay in this new place I am now in...." and he says "yes".....

Proverbs 3: 5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight".....

Friday, December 12, 2003

Thursday, December 11, 2003

And the world below...
Tonight I attended a yearly gala cocktail event at the CN Tower . I first attended this event as a step out of my comfort zone to actually go up in the CN Tower and defy my fear of heights. I'm still pretty shaky and sweaty when it comes to heights, but I am no longer at a standstill with myself from the challenge ...even if it's just going up in the CN Tower once a year. As my children are older now and I actually have time to reflect about my life, I have begun to do little things like challenge myself - rewards of those challenges probably perceived as menial to others, but exciting to me.

While I was up there, I actually sat on the ledge that outlines the window and I looked over the entire city. I began to feel curious about the people below me. Who are they, what do they do, are they happy, do they carry much grief, sadness and trouble. Are they hurting?

I was right up there in the skies, protected in a way, from being reached or effected by the world around me. I felt almost alienated from the city. I wondered what it would be like to be sitting alone in the CN Tower day after day in my own world, being able to look down from the glass that separates me from the world, to ponder about life. Imagine the silence and peace you could experience, if just for a short time.

How wonderful to be an onlooker of the city. To be in awe of the beauty of the city and those in it. So many things we don't see when we are in the midst of our busy world. Yet way up there I could see so much, it was like time stood still. I put my face close the window and I can't hear a sound, I see only roads, buildings, lights,people and a city that moves through the night.

The evening ends and I am on my way down the elevator and realty hits...I am now longer impartial to the world, I am in it, with all the noise, distraction, flashing lights, the big towers, facing the howling wind as winter sets in.

It was nice, even for hours to be an on looker of the world, impartial to and in awe of all we live in.

Sunday, December 07, 2003

In the weee hours Sunday morning.....

I was thinking about love tonight. Just wonder with your eyes closed.... how beautiful it is to dance with your husband at night quietly for even moments. Dancing in such tranquility that you hear each other's heart beat. Time for reflection of the love you share.

I read a book that explained we must first be connected to God before we can truly connect with or love someone. We must reach up to God, hold out our hand and let him walk with us on the journey of being a wife. Don't just talk to God, converse with him. Explore the unconditional love and acceptance He holds for you. You are special to him and he wants you to get to know him. Love your husband as God loves you, unconditionally. He teaches us by example, follow His lead.

Don't miss out on the dance He wants to teach you in His ballroom. Life lessons are His dance. His words are precious, gleaming like jewels to be treasured by you. His hand reaches out and He smiles at you as he pulls you to the dance floor and the lesson begins. Let Him put his arms around you to keep you safely on the path as He leads you into the dance. He is our instructor teaching us all the steps, sometimes simple and often complicated.

When He stands back to watch you, His beautiful child, turn around and reach out to pull your husband up to dance with you just as God showed you the steps. The lights are dimmed and the candles are flickering in the background, all is silent and beautiful. Bask in the glorious moments to love and appreciate your husband. He is very precious !

Friday, December 05, 2003

Cranberries....Have you ever wondered
As I sat at lunch today with Gina and Joseph, looking down at my plate of chicken, stuffing, fries and yes...a blob of cranberries.... I was thinking how pretty cranberries are... they are perfectly round, beautiful red huddled in the warmth and comfort of cranberry jelly.

I reflected to Gina how pretty cranberries are and that I should write about them. She looked at me in absolute bewilderment....said she'd be surprised if I could write about challenge begins....

How often do you look down at your plate of food and see something truly pretty and exciting? Probably not often....yet cranberries will dress up your plate, giving you something fun to look at during your meal and entice your food to dance. Personally I am not particularly thrilled to have something sweet alongside of my portion of meat, however there are many who love cranberries. I think of the cranberries only in a dancing capacity actually. I imagine them dancing all over my plate... making their way in between the green beans slivered in almonds and the moist turkey placed just along side the scrumptious stuffing... Ahhh.... and yet cranberries can also be used as flower arrangements, pieces stuck with a pin in an old woman's hat.... you think of the possibilities cranberries can, festive decoration, taste bud boom, you name it.....

Shall you ever think of a cranberry again as something other than dancing.....?

Thursday, December 04, 2003

My last journal entry had me thinking alot about skidding. The vision of skid marks stuck with me and although I initially decided to not journal the thoughts, this morning I was still going back to it. I thought if I shared, then I could move on to the next thoughts, so....

I spent some time skidding, sliding and crashing through life. When the slide was over, I'd pick myself up and head to the next journey, which often was on ice. Think of walking along a path of ice, maybe in high heels, unprepared for those icy conditions. As I am not penguin...I slip and slide on ice. My arms flailing all over, my feet lifting up from underneath me. I have many times fallen down on the ice, butt or head first. Crashing and tumbling pretty hard sometimes. Does this sound like anything you have experienced, okay boys, without the heels of course!

Earlier this week I was driving to work and reflecting about a friend's car accident. She was in her car waiting for the light to change, minding her own business I might add, when a school bus smacked right into the back of her vehicle. The police attended the scene for investigation, and concluded that the accident was a no-fault situation, caused due to weather conditions, slippery icy roads.

Sometimes we are just going through life, minding our own business, and all of a sudden out of no where we are hit from behind, without warning and we are jolted by a situation. Often we feel we have little or no control over turmoil in our lives. Sometimes we react in fear of the journey we are about to face, clouded by unclear vision. If we are fortunate we are able to clearly analyze the situation, do our part and then leave the rest to faith that God will put a little coarse salt on the path so that we will be able to steady our feet somewhat to walk the path of slippery, icy conditions.

Picture the penguin.... oddly shaped with little flaps for arms, tiny stumps for does he manage to walk the icy conditions without falling flat on his face? If he did fall flat on his face, how on earth would he get up with his tiny flaps to support and push his body up? He must be walking in faith and confidence in the abilities God gave him. Let's try to be penguins this week?!

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Reflection. Do you reflect often? I do, but only too often my reflections have not always been positive. I drudged unhappily through 2003 and I must admit that it was a tough year, that produced some bumpy spots. So many times I thought I couldn't climb the mountain much longer and screamed and kicked my way along the journey.

I spent much time with blinders on - one hand on the mask over my eyes and the other hand stretched out for someone to pull me through the journey...being scared to look down the path.....knowing I didn't want to see what was alongside or ahead of me. The skid marks were pretty evident.

Today I sit back and am truly overwhelmed at the blessings that I didn't take time to sneak a peak at during the journey. I am so moved by the land marks that have left their prints along that journey. The blessings I have received are so incredible. I am thankful for the strength I have been afforded to hang in with burdens; the health in each of my children; the love and understanding from my children; my new found friendships with incredible people who have loved, guided and listened to me (sometimes over and over); for involvement in a new Ministry and the growth of life long friendships within that Ministry; the desire to search and learn ; to unconditional love and support of my friends; and the jewel blessing of all - finally finding my way.

Open your eyes on the journey - you just might find yourself on a cruise !