Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Four months of winter........really?

We all know that winter is far beyond the three month season it is capsuled into. Winter started a month ago and will go beyond the month of March. I seriously cringe at the thought of icier cold nights.

I was sitting here imagining vivid visions of winter moments. In the back of my distant thoughts, I visualize crisp snow telling a story of beauty through the glistening molecules of dusty snow twinkling as my eye skims the front lawn. It reminds me of the knowing wink from an old man's eye as he holds close to him a most protected secret thought.

I quickly dash my thoughts to thick blue ice stretched across the lake daring and enticing me to slide across the open area under the bright blinding sun. I watch the skater dance across the frosty patch as warm breath from her nostrils circle through the cold night winter air as her razor sharp blades scrapped particles of ice to the side of her skate. Her dance comes to a sudden halt as she looks behind her to the reflection of the moon sliver.

I open the window for a breath of winter air and stretch out my warm arm in an attempt to provide a welcoming resting place for the snow flakes that tingle as they land. The flag above the window ripples in stages from the bold cutting wind breaking the silence of the evening .

The neighbour carries his snow frozen Christmas tree from the open trunk of his clunky pick-up truck to the seasonally decorated front door. He reaches with great difficulty to grasp the bitterly frozen brass door handle that sticks to his glove as he attempts to slide through the front entrance as he is met with the sweet savory smell of hot apple cider brewing on the iron oven. He carefully balances and drops the tree to the cold ceramic floor and gently swipes the newly gathered snow from his weather beaten coat. He kicks off the mandatory winter work boots as the frozen laces slap into the wall.

His little girl gallops back from the kitchen with newly baked short bread candy dusted cookies planted into her hand and she eagerly delivers the crumpled ones she has saved for her dad. Her blonde curly locks snuggle tightly into his neck as he swoops his most precious daughter into the safety of his arms.

Together they imagine the finished newly decorated tree in their family room and share a moment of Christmas excitement. A gingham decoration theme is planned in an effort to create a jolly country atmosphere. The moments are magical.

Christmas carrollers stroll cautiously arm in arm through the neighbour hood in hopes of bringing heartfelt joy to many. The street lamps shed a foggy light over the tiny village as they pass their way through.

I slide over on the wooden street bench and look up to the silvery stars in awe of this created world.

Winter with it's delivered ice, snow, wind, pelts of rain and dull dreary days only lends character to just one more winter in Canada. Let's rest and enjoy the truly mystical moments of winter.


Monday, December 05, 2005

And she leaves me.......

No, it is not the journey of the guy reading a Dear John letter... it is the heart of a mother who's daughter leaves home in pursuit of a new life. She doesn't just leave home for this new home a few hours away, she leaves for an adventure on the other side of this vast country.

With the waving of her slender hand and hugging of her anxious arms, she steps into the secure area of the airport. She takes one slight look back, smiles and abrupty turns ahead looking for the next direction. Her tired mom catches a glimpse of a huge smile joined with shining eyes of the daughter and watches the silhouette until she can't see her any more.

There is no room for warm tears in the mother's eyes, as heavy dread, emptiness and shaky fear fills her heart to capacity. There is not a moment of shared excitement for this journey. There is only the shared reminant smell of skid marks from the heels of her runners as she holds on to the handles of the wall too tightly in an attempt to hold her back.

Three eventual months later from the generous hearts of her precious children and loyal friends, the mother herself now slips through the buzzing security gates, embarking on her own journey to join her daughter for a brief vacation in this part of the land her daughter has discovered.

She is anxious for reassurance that her daughter is well and safe, and in hopes that the journey daughter has embarked upon might be less than what young daughter expected, so she can briskly wisk her back to the right side of the country. The side she thinks baby daughter should inhabit in this huge world. She pockets slight fears that may find a struggling young lady, screaming silently to be rescued, yet one too stubborn to come home. What she surprisingly finds is a resilient young woman who is possibly facing frustration, confusion and hesitance, yet beautifully determined and strong as she calculates and designs the place her life is destined to be in the journey.

What the mother doesn't expect in the field of possibilities, is the respect and admiration she begins to experience as she begins to know her daughter through a wider lens in the camera that has been taking pictures. She is startled to see a wavering reflection of the woman she pictured herself being 30 or so years ago. The black and white portrait flashes by her, far back in time to the flickering dreams and burning hopes she once made a small home for in her own heart. The whisper of wisdom begins to echo in the halls of her thoughts. Her heart races up and down like the effects of a crashing avalanche.

This is not the first time one of her daughters left home in pursuit of her own illustrated life. It is not the first time she stored a throbbing heart of hard fear and emptiness as a child flew off. It is a similar repeat of the toppled nest from a few years ago when special daughter oldest flapped her gentle wings causing waves of air that threw her off balance. How is it that she forgot that drumming fear? Was it that fear had been subsided because first daughter spread her wings and eventually flew back safely to re-nest with much life experience under her wings? It is that daughter grew into a beautiful, strong and worldly young lady filled with a passion and direction she might not otherwise have opened herself up for. Did she forget the tremblings of worry when daughter oldest stepped out into the world. She respected trusted the judgement of daughter oldest. She continually kept daughter oldest in her thoughts and dreams as she embarked on her own special journey. How did she forget the sun that beamed down on the journey for daughter oldest, like glistening sparkles similar to dancing diamonds?

Baby daughter will too return home a new creature. The flashing camera will snap a vision of little daughter resembling the bright peacock with her wings open wide displaying a marvelous newly painted canvas, almost startling to the eye. A canvas that she will gallantly flash in exhilerated accomplishment, just as oldest daughter taught her.

May God bless both daughters on different sides of the world in their very specific journeys. May God keep mother sane.

To my beautiful incredible daughters.


Monday, October 24, 2005

The awesome power of aeceptance...
I was sitting sipping on tea this afternoon when I was thinking about the the many true friends I have had the honour of being blessed with. You know, the ones that love you just because of you, flaws and all. Celebrate the friends that come through for you no matter what, where, when and why.

I want to share a great momentsI had recently experienced. I had been driving to church a few weeks ago, rushing and grumbling about the longer drive than I cared to face, my tired state and the grumbling went on and on..... I finally reached the parking lot, jumped out of the car ( it was raining adding to my grumblings), walked in the front doors and into the community room where we worship. I took a sigh and headed to a chair to put my purse and items down.....when one of the little guys from his seat on the counter of the food galley, turned around and with an incredibly huge smile and dancing eyes shouted out to me the most welcoming "Hi Cheri" I have ever heard him give me. He said a few other cool lthings, but it was his beaming smile and huge happy brown eyes that lifted me higher than I can explain. Here was this little guy sharing with me the joy he was feeling in his heart. This little guy, Liam, will never know what he did for my spirits that morning, but I will treasurer that moment for a long, long time. I wish it was possible to pour that emotional moment into a jar and hand it out to everyone I meet.

I hope that during my journey, I can be a tool in lifting the spirits of others who cross my path and that I might be able to add joy and friendship beyond their expectation.

Thanks Liam!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Cold weather.... who needs it anyway? What brings people from Florida to live in Toronto? What brings people from anywhere warm to live in Canada? I just don't get it. Well, in all reality there is much I just don't get, but cold weather I know I will never get!

However, I do see some benefits to cold weather. First of all, it kind of forces me personally to hybernate, do laundry, watch t.v., read more, rest and just plain hang out at home. There is some good in that I guess. Reflection, cooking for the family and friends, and maybe just getting back into blogging. I run way too much and think too little in the summer. Although too much thinking for me can be dangerous too!

Anyway, I feel the wind blowing colder each day this week. I hear the whistling of the air as it swirls around the windows in my bedroom. I catch myself day dreaming about the sounds of the rain crashing on the windows in the livingroom forcing me to run juming into my warm blankets. I am craving the crackling of a warm fire, dimmed lights, huddles of blankets, pillows, popcorn, chips, chocolate bars and a few DVD's. I imagine the white lights already dancing on the Christmas tree in my livingroom. I smell the Christmas turkey cooking.

I think winter is on it's way....slowly creeping down the narrow pathway by my house soon to swirl around the front step into my livingroom. Steel bars and locked doors are not going to keep this monster away!

Have a fun day!

Monday, October 10, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving......

I am sitting here Thanksgiving morning looking out my front window. I am in awe of the beauty fall brings. The leaves around me are greeny-yellow, orange and beige on the tree in front of my window. It appears cold and brisk this morning with a slight wind making the leaves on this tree dance. If I listened closely I am sure I could hear them sing. Dry leaves are gathering on the curbs of the neighbouring properties, piling up in anticipation of the young kids jumping in them. What an incredibly beautiful time of year. This has to be my favorite season. As much as I anticipate summer and enjoy the sunshine and lazy days by the beach, there is nothing that beats the incredible beauty of fall.

I am sitting here reflecting over the past year with awe in all the year has delivered to my door step. I have beautiful, safe, healthy children each on their individual journeys. I have peace, love, contentment and lots to look forward to. Sit still and count YOUR blessings. Pray with thanks and gratefulness. Stop and take time today to love the people you are closest to.

Happy Thanksgiving......

Monday, September 12, 2005

Well...I posted and I have not impressed anyone...so I am thinking maybe pictures will do the talking for me... at least for the interim until I can figure something really astounding to say.....

Saturday, September 10, 2005

O.K. I admit I have had a dry spell because I truly have not had much to say. Maybe I have had lots to say, but just couldn't quite get the words out. However, I have spent alot of time in quiet reflection and thankfulness of so many blessings these past months. There has truly not been a day recently when I have not thanked God specifically for all He has provided for in my life, especially this past year. I listened to the radio tonight as the announcer was reflecting on a devistated country watching them on their knees praying for strength. I was overwhelmed as often it is only from tragedy that many pray for anything, let alone strength to make it through the next day. I wonder how many people really pray with faith and belief.

I am sitting here at my desk looking out into a dark street of my neighbourhood, it is after midnight. It is very quiet tonight, not a noise to be heard except the crisp croaks of crickets. If the neighbour didn't have her outside lights on, I would think I was at the cottage surrounded by total peace. What a priviledge to know I can even be at a place of such comfort. I can't help but reflect on the thousands of standed, desperate people in the U.S. right now who need to rest their weary bodies and feel the comfort of a warm bed with clean sheets and blankets. A cricket can't even be heard in the flood destroyed streets. I have had a hard time reading the newspapers as my heart aches for the children and adults suffering right now. I am unable to even begin to comprehend the devistation in our neighbouring country.

This sadness brings to my mind the many things I take forgranted. It continues to remind me to be thankful daily for the many blessings I don't even think about. Tonight when I retire this aching body to a warm comfortable bed, the sheets will smell fresher and feel more welcoming than I could have imagined a few weeks ago.


Monday, June 20, 2005

Anyone out there? Hello? IS anyone out there?!!

I have figured out that when the counter on my blogger stopped at 110 - that I somehow lost the competitive spirit I have. All of a sudden there was no record to beat or meet the challenge of. Well, o.k. maybe that wasn't the problem - maybe it was my lazy spirit these days. Or it could have been exhaustion. Well, guess what - I am still exhausted and unchallenged, but I thought I better get to it and write. It is been yet another month since I wrote and I am embarased.

What is there for me to write about this beautiful day - well the first thing that comes to mind is uniformity. I was thinking today that we are as a human race somewhat conditioned into being uniformed. Things have to look right, look good and line up. I was at a builder's clearance place today looking for flooring to take over where my livingroom carpets have left off. I found bundles of mix-matched hardwood and laminate floorings. I was thinking I could mix and match the colours and textures to somehow create a uniquely designed floor. It could look quite good if it was designed carefully. Then again, it could look absolutley awful. What might look worse is the idea my friend Louise had of putting pieces of board down in a mix-matched design. Then I knew I lived in a somewhat uniformed world - yes even me. Hmmmmm... why can't I live on a limb and just go crazy and create something totally un-uniformed?


Monday, May 23, 2005

The passion.......
I think I've had a block of some sort these days, okay - months. Usually I write when I am feeling passionate about some issue or event. I guess I have been in a bit of a passion slump these days. Nothing has really triggered my imagination. And yes, maybe I wanted you girls to miss me, just a bit!

I have lots to share though - so maybe that's a good way to get back into the grove. My friend Sheryl has had an adventure to share. She left her family (of FIVE children) and husband to spend about 5 days in Myrtle Beach (sp?) a few weeks ago. She has never been on an airplane by herself - and in fact has I beleive only flown once. I was very excited for her adventure - I knew this would have a good impact on her - just being away from FIVE kids would have been enough - yet to travel ALONE ! YIPPEE for her. She had a good time too! Wonder if she missed the kids and husband ! (not?)

I myself have had the desire these past months to go to an airport hand in my free travel voucher and just GO. Anywhere. However without the cash in the wallet to pay for a hotel once I got where I was going is kind of a stumbling block......!

Joseph is going on a mission trip to Big Trout Lake a native Indian reserve - which is way way way way up north in Hudson Bay area. This has been the focus of our household the past few months. He attends training sessions Sunday mornings each week and they are now starting the packing process. The airlines up in this "neck of the woods" brings their supplies in gradually as they have room in the plane - that way it saves on the cost to send the group up. There is a total of 19 youth and adults that are going on this mission trip. They will spend time working with the native children, sharing special times with them. I am very excited for this opportunity for Joseph - he will experience a part of life that not many of us get the chance to. Last weekend they spent the weekend on a double decker bus raising awareness for this mission trip and raised funds to fund the mission trip.

My mind was wandering trying to share some thoughts when as I am sitting here looking out my home office window , I see a woman putting her little boy in his stroller for a morning walk(cute little guy with yellow rubber boots on). I think of how warm and comfortable his life probably is - how he knows without a doubt that his mom and dad love him. How awesome to just KNOW he is loved. Every morning she probably reaches into his crib to pick him up and hold him close, cuddling and kissing him. Now dad is walking behind them with their other little boy - peddling away on his little bike. They walk together as a family. I guess I thought I wouldn't have much to share today - but in reality if I just looked around me - I'd have so much to share - as each of you would! So for today my friends I share - stop the race of the day - and just sit back and enjoy those kids - laugh with them, walk with them and make family a focus for the day!

Shortly I am off to visit friends who are my family for a barbeque!

Have a relaxing and wonderful day!

Sunday, March 20, 2005

I often spend my time on this site just ranting and raving about lousy drivers and just life in general. However today I felt compelled to share my heart on a deeper level. Today I was sent an e-mail with a powerpoint presentation from a good friend. The e-mail contained instructions to turn on my speakers and get the kleenex ready. The presentation was a tribute to the recently slain RCMP officers in Canada. The presentation was effectively created and carried by a touching song. These slayings have had huge emotional impact on many families, individuals and Canadian society. This is a time filled with total grief and tears beyond our comprehension and my heart goes to the many families effected by the loss of these officers.

I know these families are comforted by those who gather around them during this grieving and adjustment period. I can only imagine there are many questions and pleas of "if only.......and why......." It is at times such as this that so many cry out to God for strength, guidance, mercy and understanding. It is often those who have never cried out or turned to God for anything. These tragic events bring many of us to our knees with our faces flat to the ground, in total surrender to God at times when there is no other direction to turn.

In such a fast paced and changing society we race through our days and years seldom giving complete reverence for the life we have been so graciously been blessed with. If we could only jump off the merry-go-round, landing on solid still ground, so we could grab balance and enable ourselves the opportunity appreciate the treasure of life and to God who gave it to us.

I can't help but search in prayer for each of us that we would just stop and re-evaluate our lives and direction in the knowing that we are not in control of our ultimate journey. None of us know where, when and how we will depart this world. I am sure if we did, we would conduct our lives much differently than we inherentently do.

If today YOU knew, where, when and how - what would your life look like in the days from today forward? Would you be on your knees in thanks and acceptance of our creator, the one we come to when we need more compassion and strength than any human can provide?

I am thankful that I can come to Him in the everyday times and that if tragedy crosses my journey, I can be assured of His complete comfort and strength.


Monday, March 14, 2005

Nothing better than a special brother........
You guessed it, we are at the cottage, all grown up. Long long away from the little kids that did anything they could do to bug one another. The sister who teased him with danny long legs and the brother that tried to chase me with snakes and pushing me off docks. My brother, the little boy who was the "baby" of our family, the kid who cried and threw himself in the dirty when I was given a quarter from an aunt when he wasn't - is now the first one to reach out and pull me from the mud (without laughing at me). He's the one that has developed patience and love for an older sister who was always a painful thorn in his side. He's the brother who anticipates our visits with welcome arms. We have shared some sad times, rough times, many fun moments and I just wanted to say that I love him very much and am thankful he's the baby brother and that are travelling the journey to better paths !

Be thankful for your siblings my friends, and take a moment to tell them just how much you really care about them. Treasure the special bonds.
ere's to you RICK!................. big hugsand kiss! LOVE YA ! !

Sunday, March 13, 2005

There is nothing better than a special brother....
Today I have decided that it is time to spruce up this site -give all of you something more interesting to read and LOOK at... I have decided to add pictures to the site. I am actually quite excited about this adventure and hope it gives an interesting new turn in posting!

Let me know what you think!
and I mean....the WHOLE world....... ! ! Posted by Hello

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Sunday calls for the worst winter storm in Canadian history. Ten feet of snow to accumulate in the Burlington/Oakville/Mississauga area. I am talking FEET not inches! Predictions of all stores being closed, schools, banks and any general transportation on public roads will be shut down for three days. The warning is for anyone in need of water and food supplies that they should immediately attend the stores at 9:00 a.m. as the storm is expected to hit around noon on Sunday. All employers are urged to close shop and send all employees home before the storm starts. Travelling will be dangerous and completely restricted. City officials are calling for emergency meetings on how to strategically organize the work flow of snow clearing. Snow plows are currently being gassed up for the worse road clearing ever recorded. Salt is being sent in by freight trains from Quebec. They have called in the RCMP, OPP and all army assistance to keep calm in the city. It is recommended to stay in doors at all times for the duration of the storm. Hydro lines may be brought down and possible interruption of telephone services. Keep shovels handy to ensure front doors to homes are not snowed in.

Well, I am kidding, couldn't help myself....I see Dani and Sheryl freaking out about now. Sheryl for having to stay home from the travel adventures that bring her family all over the map for the kid's hockey and Dani for not having enough food in the house to cook for and feed those active hungry boys....... and to James for the hard work ahead in keeping the ice rink free of the snow so the boys (and himself) can skate!

Me, I am going to dream that I am on a single's cruise in the Carribiean somewhere...sipping on Dr. Pepper and indulging myself in the smorgesborg of decadent food on ship. The sun basking down as I take rest in the three books I have started and not yet finished! Is it warming up yet gang?

Sorry for the scare my friends, just wanted to hear gasps, whines, cries and pleas for winter to end! Enough yet!!


Wednesday, March 09, 2005

My friend Tim has these contests that he hosts and he gives away free books. Well, I was thinking tonight that it really bugs me that my blogger has stopped counting my posts. I was thinking I will have a contest to see if someone can count how many times I have posted on this blog from inception to March 30. The rules are that you have to break down the posts to each month I have posted. The prize is going to be a $20.00 gift certificate to the local Christian book store. So, my friends start counting. The deadline for entires is the end of March - that gives you lots of time to count. It is well worth the$20- gift certificate to not have to do the work myself.

So, the only real meaty comments I get from you guys on this site is the telephone or e-mail complaints that I am not writing! So I have manged to figure it out that the posts are pretty dry and not interesting. So, I have to get the head focused and start to write some intelligent things. No, I will not resort to stealing Tim's posts - well not yet anyway.

Life is wonderful - trying at times - but each of us need to be thankful for all it brings to us!


Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Morning my friends! I say good morning as I am sure most of you will start your day with this blog. (I wish!) Anyway, Tuesday evening didn't go as I had originally planned, but we had one major accomplishment so that's all that matters. I took Joseph on his long awaited trip to the eye doctor. He has waited for the green light on contact lenses since he was about 11 years old. Today was the day. He has been fitted for contacts and is on a trial for two weeks to see if he can wear them.

It was eye opening (sorry for the pun) to watch him so exuberantly spend an hour and a half learning the ropes of contact lense wearing. He spent at least an hour of that time putting in and taking off the contacts until the doctor felt he was confortable and at ease with the process. She said that he is one of the rare kids she has seen so totally enthusiastic about getting contacts. He's pumped and he's off and running. He's thrilled.

What I wanted to share tonight is what it felt like watching him pace back and forth looking in the mirror and checking the world out around him. His face beamed with this huge smile - and his eyes danced, big, brown circles. It reminded me of the first time he put a pair of glasses on and could actually read signs (we didn't realize how bad his eyes were). I was reflecting this evening on how if we just change the surroundings of what we see through and how we see things, how simply amazing the view might be. It could be simply a change of heart, change of job or home or even new friends that could shed new light on the world around us.

Today pretend you have new glasses - with a stronger prescription and take a different look at life and the people you pass - what do you see that you might not have if you didn't put new glasses on.

Have an interesting day.....

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Morning my friends! I formally called Sheryl around 7:00 a.m. on March 1st to wish my beautiful long time friend A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! However, I didn't get a chance to write about her yet. Some of you know my wonderful friend. First of all I want to tell everyone that this friend is so young I could be her mother - she met me when she applied as a co-op student for an office I worked in - she was hired and we made instant friends. She is the little buddy that travelled from job to job to work with me. Some people will do anything for a job! I hope it was NOT me that inspired her (by example) to have FIVE children, one after another! I do hope it was me that maybe made her laugh a little along the way. We did more than work together, we shared Mary Kay careers, did some dancing together, took ceramic classes, went on too may binge shopping trips to the Bulk Food Market at Square One to buy a sample of every single candy they sold. She shared an office with me, walked with me when I was pregnant, (through thick and thin), sat in gas stations laughing our heads off over flat tires and crazy people at the wee hours of the morning. She is an inspiration to me as she is a gentle, kind, smart and off the wall funny young woman who loves her husband and children and knows how to just do it right! I love YA Sheryl, thanks for being my friend and always being there! HAPPY BLOG SPOT BIRTHDAY!

What can I say - life is flying faster than the roller coaster I used to ride in Crystal Beach,Ontario. Whewwwww.... I was driving to work this morning in major traffic jam - on Dundas St. if you can imagine. It took me almost one hour to get to work - when normally it is about 15 minutes....grrrrrrrrr... Anyway as I was sitting there I was watching the vehicles infront and around me. One pet pieve I have (well one of many) is when people take the front end of their cars and just slide right up behind the back end of another vehicle. Just sitting amongst these people makes me crazy. I feel totally closterphobic (no I not checking spelling on that one - it's too late). I really feel as though I might get crushed inbetween these vehicles or a huge dump truck will slide along and topple over at my car - and trapping me in between them all. Why is it,tell me that people just HAVE to do that?!

Well... I think it's time I figured out how to add pictures into this site...so I shall have a project on my hands and once I get the digital pictures from Sandy's SIXTIETH birthday, I will exploit everyone....including Gina in HER grass skirt and me in mine. I will be gentle...... HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANDY - MY DEAR SIXTY YEAR OLD FRIEND............... LOL... I couldn't resist ending with that! You are wonderful, precious and an absolute BLAST!!!! You know how to celebrate, love and shine above all. The gathering of these people is only a small reflection of how wonderful you are and how much you are loved. CAN WE DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN - THIS TIME DANI IN THE GRASS SKIRT....

LOVE YA ALL, NIGHT...............................

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Well... the other day I was informed that my friend starts her day with morning tea in hand and my bright shinny blog spot in face. I didn't realize I was the start of her day - poor soul - many dissapointments these mornings! A blank screen. Yes, my friends I have had February blllaaaassss... Not sure I have ever experienced this type of "winter downs" (whatever they call that thing). I never knew what it felt like to not want to get out of bed and hiding from reality with the covers pulled over my head and pillows on top to prevent the blowing heat whistling through the vents from rippling the sheets off my face.

Depression? No. Explain it? Probably can't really. Sun deprived? Yes - absolutley. Didn't realize what it was until early last week when we were blessed with an afternoon of sunshine. All of a sudden I felt revitalized and refreshened...it was so awesome - like a face lift almost. Face lift would give me a cute date - sunshine just a spirit lift......

This evening was filled with some weird events one thing after another that prevented me from actually sitting down with my son and a friend to enjoy the dinner I was trying to cook. One of the things was that just as I was finishing the cooking process a little knock came to my door. Upon peering out my front window we see a tiny girl with her hands up around her little face trying to catch a glimpse of us. Major tears could be clearly seen streaming down her swollen red face. We opened the door and welcomed her in - recognizing her as the neighbour's little three year old. She poured in crying that she wanted her mommy and daddy, causing us immediate alarm. We calmed her down and asked here where mommy and daddy were - and she responded "working". I think you can only imagine the concern we experienced that moment.

I then continued to question her asking if anyone was home with her. She responded that her old uncle was home. Thoughts that maybe something happened to the uncle sprang to mind, and I left the cute little one with my friend as I headed to the neighbour's home. I rang and rang and rang the door bell for about five minutes when finally the uncle appeared. I shared the story of our little visitor and he, looking irritated and a little sleep deprived (or something) in his broken English asked me to bring her back. When I came back and told her uncle was home and wanted her to get back, she had an immediate look of concern and worry and shared she wasn't going home - said she was staying with us and watching t.v.. So, I did the journey back to share with uncle that it was o.k. with me if she watched t.v. for a while. I so didn't have the heart to send her back as she looked so upset. Anyway, old uncle gruff said "grab her by arm and pull her home"... (Likely buddy!) Don't get me wrong, he has always appeared to be a nice guy but he is most certainly one of these old school guys (Portugese) and I wasn't arguing with him - yuck... neither was I going to drag that child back.

Long story, she did end up going back as she thought her daddy had come home in the big truck that pulled up. However that little girl's face keeps coming back to me for many reasons. I think of the scared lonely children out there in this world, in fact right in our neighbourhoods, I think of the abused children around the corners. Reality of how easy it is for a child to get lost and dissapear struck like lightening (thank goodness she came to my house and not wander down the street somewhere).

I don't believe she is an abused child - I think that mommy and daddy have their hands full as young parents trying to make ends meet and provide a home for their child. Yet, those little brown eyes and pretty face kind of haunt me tonight - as I shared moments of her own real fear of mommy and daddy not home and being stuck with old uncle who just doesn't fit the bill of mom and dad nor good babysitter. I can only touch the surface of imagining children who may never experience the joy of when mommy and daddy finally make it home. The little souls that lay in bed aching to know the love of a mom and dad. Grab your little monster children today - and just hug them - refresh their memories of just how much they matter to you. Oh, and don't leave them with old uncle to be babysat......


Thursday, January 27, 2005

My blog spot "counter" I guess you could call it - has clocked me in at 110 postings...well of course I have written way more than 110 - and not sure why it doesn't keep accurate count. That bothers me because I do count and I am competitive. I compete against myself constantly. Wonder if that makes me a freak? I am looking for a volunteer to count the posts??

Anway, I checked out for comments today - as you lovely friends of mine so seldom share you comments...I was pleasantly surprised to see that Dani, Gina and TIM had commented...I also noted that the long hard writing of Sunday's blog that I thought I lost - actually somehow ended up on the site, which is weird as when I checked it out earlier, I didn't see it. Hmm.

Tonight I went to see Randy Bachmann - yes of the famous Guess Who and BTO. Do you know how Guess Who got their name? I do. What a rocking happening concert tonight. I had an incredible time. I do have to share that it was not just the music that allowed me to slip back into time that was so great tonight, it was the inspiration Randy was for me this evening. He shared the ups and downs and laughs of his career with a refreshing, humble nature. Seemingly an almost shy person, he personifies intelligence, perceiverance, and a down to earth country boy heart, with a rock and roll spirit. He shared that when he has a thought or a lyric, for a potential song - he immediately writes it down - or he will certainly forget it. He has shelves in his heart where he lays things down - only often to come back to later and historically write that winning song.

We all need shelves to put those things on until we have the wisdom or the strength to come back and pick it up - whether to toss it away or to dust it off and begin to appreciate it.

Off to bed to dust some of those things I put on a shelf...like my pillow...
Oh, Happy Birthday Chanel!

There is a piece of chocolate cake sitting in my car, it is 12:11 a.m. and I am starving....yet too lazy to go get it. Oh well, it will be good for breakfast. I wrote a thought yesterday (a good one in fact - or so I presumed) but the system failed to let me post it. I surmise there was a reason that particular thought of mine was to be kept out of print.

Today I was thinking about how we sometimes may miss the opportunity to really get to know someone and of course the flip side of how some people are open enough to reach out and open the doors to new friendships. I began to be curious about the new friends I have met in the past year. I wonder as they get to know me, what do they see? Can they see though the wax paper and see the real me? Am I transparent or do I resemble the glass we see in the bathrooms of older homes... you know the frosted type with diced looking chunks in it? I tend to think that many people can't see the real me because of that dicy glass. I think there are few people who are inquisitive enough to recognize that if they open up that window so they can see into the room I inhabit, they might find this very unique being................Hmmm..........

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Do you ever wonder? I do constantly, wonder this, wonder that and question so much.

Wonder - what people think when they enter relationships with others? I say that because I was at a social function on the weekend where I was watching a younger couple interact with each other. This couple on the outset to a few of us, appear to be totally mismatched. I reiterate the word "totally". There seems to be so many couples who are together and they probably wonder how they managed to be a couple. What was the attraction - the draw to become a couple is a question I ask (and so should they). I wonder what chances of success and happiness a couple has, if their relationship is so obviously out of wack to others. Can it be that when others manage to see this, that the couple have no clue?.

It seems very clear to me that many couples get into relationships out of physical attraction and desire, lonliness or simply "fall into it" and they put friendship and human psychological bonding at the bottom of the list. (been there - done that!)

I am relieved to be 50 (yikes!!!) and having learned the lesson of making friends first... it's a long road to finding a potential partner, but I know that it will be worth it in the end. It is not an easy route as it's a constant battle to resist the temptation of human physical desires. I have learned the key to what I hope is a more solid foundation in love. I do not have it together (far from it) but at least I have managed to get the concept down! Now for the rest of the formula.

Those reading this who were at the function will be scratching their heads and wondering who inspired these thoughts. Who knows, maybe what I perceived wasn't what is in actuality.

Night once again!

Do you ever wonder? I do constantly, wonder this, wonder that and question so much.

Wonder - what people think when they enter relationships with others? I say that because I was at a social function on the weekend where I was watching a younger couple interact with each other. This couple on the outset to a few of us, appear to be totally mismatched. I reiterate the word "totally". There seems to be so many couples who are together and they probably wonder how they managed to be a couple. What was the attraction - the draw to become a couple is a question I ask (and so should they). I wonder what chances of success and happiness a couple has, if their relationship is so obviously out of wack to others. Can it be that when others manage to see this, that the couple have no clue?.

It seems very clear to me that many couples get into relationships out of physical attraction and desire, lonliness or simply "fall into it" and they put friendship and human psychological bonding at the bottom of the list. (been there - done that!)

I am relieved to be 50 (yikes!!!) and having learned the lesson of making friends first... it's a long road to finding a potential partner, but I know that it will be worth it in the end. It is not an easy route as it's a constant battle to resist the temptation of human physical desires. I have learned the key to what I hope is a more solid foundation in love. I do not have it together (far from it) but at least I have managed to get the concept down! Now for the rest of the formula.

Those reading this who were at the function will be scratching their heads and wondering who inspired these thoughts. Who knows, maybe what I perceived wasn't what is in actuality.

Night once again!

Do you ever wonder? I do constantly, wonder this, wonder that and question so much.

Wonder - what people think when they enter relationships with others? I say that because I was at a social function on the weekend where I was watching a younger couple interact with each other. This couple on the outset to a few of us, appear to be totally mismatched. I reiterate the word "totally". There seems to be so many couples who are together and they probably wonder how they managed to be a couple. What was the attraction - the draw to become a couple is a question I ask (and so should they). I wonder what chances of success and happiness a couple has, if their relationship is so obviously out of wack to others. Can it be that when others manage to see this, that the couple have no clue?.

It seems very clear to me that many couples get into relationships out of physical attraction and desire, lonliness or simply "fall into it" and they put friendship and human psychological bonding at the bottom of the list. (been there - done that!)

I am relieved to be 50 (yikes!!!) and having learned the lesson of making friends first... it's a long road to finding a potential partner, but I know that it will be worth it in the end. It is not an easy route as it's a constant battle to resist the temptation of human physical desires. I have learned the key to what I hope is a more solid foundation in love. I do not have it together (far from it) but at least I have managed to get the concept down! Now for the rest of the formula.

Those reading this who were at the function will be scratching their heads and wondering who inspired these thoughts. Who knows, maybe what I perceived wasn't what is in actuality.

Night once again!

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Boy and Girl....continued.....

"Then came the girl. She was silken. She was a summer breeze.
He craved her softness, her scent.

Greater than science or magic. His clumsy hands could touch her like a whisper! Dare he use the word! No, never! Why invite the fultures to tear it open? To leave a smearing gash oozing, rotting entrails stinking on the floor. To be made a fool. To break a heart.

But it was too late. He needed her form, her laughter. When the lights were out, every fear, every hate disolved. Every moment she was away became an hour. Ever hour stretched into eternity. He needed her. Without her he was naked. Would she wait for him? Perhaps not, but he had to find out. He came back......

The boy became a man.
Yes, I know the story well, for I know the boy well.
He is me, and she is you. Boy and Girl.
Boy Loves Girl..."
This poem written by an unknown writer has sat in my journal for some time now....I often think of this man, wondering who he is and who she was...... He pours his heart out on this very special paper - for a very special woman who's very existance reminds me of the very finest satin. I see her swaying ever so gently as she walks through the warm sand digging her toes in deep just as dusk settles in. The wind ever so softly caressing the long strands of her hair flinging wildly into the evening breeze.... She is beautiful, and it's him that sees her beauty that lies deep inside her heart......

Friday, January 21, 2005

June 11, 1988 ......... Boy and Girl

Two summers ago I was given a book by a neighbour. I can't even remember what the book was titled. The only thing I can remember is the piece of linen paper lined with hand writing formed neatly in fountain pen blue ink, captioned "Boy and Girl"that fell out of the inside cover as I opened it.

There contained a story so captivating that I feel compelled to share it with you tonight as I have once again picked it up and laid in the clouds as I read it. Let your imagination run wild and place faces to this boy and girl we are about to meet.

"He do not want to face it. Even when he knew it was there in front, staring at him, daring him to deny, he turned away. He tried to run. He wanted to hide from it, to forget...... but when the music is loud......

What sort of man could become trapped, would be enslaved by foolish emotion? Not I, he cried triumphantly. He nearly believed it.

Let me tell you about the boy. He trod the hardpath. He learned one hundred lessons, but only through making one thousand mistakes. Never, he swore to himself, was he to let his heart rule his head.

He knew what he wanted..... or did he?
He had ambition but not reason and he was bitter.
Pride misconstrued for arrogance made him cynical.
The honesty he craved so badly was nowhere to be found.
The evasiveness made him misanthropic.
He had two strong arms but they were empty.
Something was missing.
Then came the girl.
She was silken.
She was a summer breeze......."
To be continued.......

Thursday, January 20, 2005

The Package..... Have you ever been in a room and locked eyes with someone as you immediately formed an opinion on who this person is and what they are like? Recently, I was at a conference that drew many women. During the break, I headed to the refreshment table and as I was filling my tea cup, a woman joined me, who's stature took me back a bit, initially making me feel a bit uncomfortable. She was a tall woman, very strong looking and almost tough around the edges. I hesitated to write this article for fear that my description of this woman may be perceived as harsh, as it certainly isn't meant to. We ended up in an interesting conversation and I was surprised to listen to a voice that was so gentle, unlike her outward appearance. As we filled our cups and plates with warm drinks and delicious desserts, I listened with fasination as her humble, soft nature unfolded throughout the conversation.

Later that evening when everyone was leaving, I could see her heading towards me, her facial expression not necessarily that of a gentle being and I again felt a bit leary as I saw her stretch out her arms to fold me in a hug. She was quite a big strong looking woman, and me being somewhat delicate, I worried slightly that she might hurt me as she hugged. I admit I took a deep breath as she brought her arms around me, yet she so gently hugged and thanked ME for taking the time to talk to her. She smiled and headed out the door. She had no idea her stature had evoked some nervousness in my heart. She had no idea the impact she had on my heart that night.

I have reflected often on how we so quickly allow our first impressions to form in our heads as to who someone is or is not. I formed a quick opinion that this woman was rough and harsh, yet in spending time with her, I was able to experience the splendor of who she was - a beautiful, humble, gentle woman just waiting for someone to be a friend.

I'm glad I was afforded the opportunity to have met this lady! I am priviledged to have met such a gentle humble spirit. Don't turn away from an opportunity to meet that person you might have initially turned away from - you never know who you might REALLY meet.

Well... just for an appetizer - I share that I have a beautiful
story to share over the next two days........ stay tuned.....
You won't be disappointed.... Night....

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Tonight we were helping my daughter begin the move into the new apartment her and her husband are starting their married life in. Both daughters were on the counters in the kitchen ripping off old mack-tack from the shelves of the cupboards and my friend and I were watching them. As they were ripping, complaining and chatting I listened as my youngest asked my eldest, "what happened to the lady who lived here, did she die?" My eldest responded, "I'm not sure, she was in the hospital". "Oh, said the youngest," and they went on about their business. It struck me that in life we run our course whether it be 66 years or 96 years, but at the end of that journey we are just dust to others. We move out of a place in the journey and right behind us is someone else going forward from where we left off.

I couldn't help but wonder who the lady was, what did she look like, did she have family who cared about her, was she thin and frail, and on the day she moved into that apartment, did she have help settling in. I wondered if she is now in a nursing home or if God had called her home.
I hope she is happy in the place the journey has taken her to.

As for my daughters, I wonder either one of them thought about her beyond those few questions they shared.


Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Just when I thought....the crowd of supporters might have jumped ship for a more interesting blogger, along she comes - comments and all... YES!! I am not alone in this cold, icy world...someone is still reading! Yippeee...thanks once again Danielle... I am glad that something I wrote caught the attention of someone out there.... It's a lonely world without supporters....haha...

My friend Sheryl sent me a birthday card last year,a pretty white card with a huge yellow smilie on the front... and on the inside a smaller smilie.... and the words read "Smile! You're loved"! I found the card on Monday evening and I have pinned it up on the wall in my office, right beside the computer screen. It reminds me that I am blessed with truly loving, amazing friends. Yes, I AM LOVED!

I hope one day that someone might look back and say, "she" (meaning me) made my day! I hope during my journey I shower as much love on each of you!

In the meantime, think of us my dear friends sitting all together by a quiet river bank, green grass tickling our toes as we sit on blankets, reaching into picnic baskets full of food, sharing stories and fun. As we sit in unity, may we hear rushing sounds of the running stream, beautiful birds flying gracefully overhead, the gentle whisper of the wind caressing wild flowers as the rays of the orange sun beam down on us, warming our hearts and souls as we share quiet times and lunch together.

This my friends is what God gives us - free, friendship - reach out grab it and cherish it.

Monday, January 03, 2005

People who talk in riddles really bore me. Actually, I am not sure if they bore me as much as they irritate me. Is it because I am "aging" or is it that I am so less tolerant of people who can't just be human? I think people who talk in riddles are covering up something - playing games something like dodge ball. The conversation that flows in riddles draws me to the vision of a masked bandit - looking for a target and already has the escape route mapped out.

That's all for tonight... from the serious chick...

Settling in.... Well the Christmas hustle is over and today marks the real beginning of progression of a new year. A new work week, a new year. Have you ever taken a walk down memory lane with your photo album? I think generally we take many pictures of our families, trips and events - if most of us are organized we promptly place them in a photo album and then file them away in a cabinet. Note I say "generally" this is a routine for most people. A couple of days ago I started yet one more attempt at organizing my office at home and I picked-up a box of "things". In it was a big wack of loose pictures - I started to sort through it, throwing out blurry pictures, doubles of pictures etc. Then I found a handful of old pictures with my grand mother in them, my aunt, myself, my cousin and brothers when we were very young. It was so awesome to look at these pictures, and I was reminded how quickly life runs past us. I am not quite sure we can run fast enough ahead of the aging process to really make the absolute most of every single day we are blessed with - but I encourage each one of you - ME INCLUDED - to try hard to keep up to the wonders of each day. Make the most out of our lives, what we want to do - or if we don't know - run fast to find out what it is we want to do!

Listen to that inner self that is prompting you - there's a reason.